


Gravity

by bitsori



Series: When It Feels Like This [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Male Friendship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 36,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: “Do you know he calls you his soulmate?”Minho almost spits his drink out when Changbin asks this. “Uh, yeah, he wrote this for a broadcast letter, once.”“No, I mean— he’s actually said it. Out loud. To me,” Changbin says, looking directly at Minho as if he’s trying to gauge the older’s reaction, before he adds, “Without cameras.”“I’m sure all the members are important to him,” Minho points out.“Yeah, but he doesn't call the rest of us his soulmates,” Changbin mumbles, under his breath and almost inaudible.--or: Minho and Jisung are soulmates, except it’s not an AU. It’s real life.





	1. Han Jisung

**Author's Note:**

> [ 1 ] Okay, first of all despite that lame summary, a disclaimer: THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE! This is a complete work of fiction, lmao.
> 
> [ 2 ] I went through a period when I wanted to read lengthy canon fic. And then Hyunsung’s 2KR happened and I decided to write it myself. (Yeah, trust me to be inspired to write freaking Minsung after watching another ship’s 2KR I’m sorry my brain works that way!! ;;)
> 
> [ 3 ] All ages mentioned are Korean ages, just so we're all clear on that.
> 
> [ 4 ] This fic is Rated M because of a brief scene in Chapter 2. Never really thought I’d write a scene like it for anyone in SKZ, but it was kinda natural to the flow of the story. It's not really very explicit, but this serves as a warning for anyone who might be uncomfortable with that.
> 
> [ 5 ] Apologies to M & R who, as usual, were my sounding boards throughout the writing of this monster. Thank you for always indulging me, there are vague crumbs for you both, I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> [ 6 ] A few liberties have been taken with regards to the general timeline, but I tried to have everything make sense still, and fit with what we do know for sure happened. That said, I now present to you this Very Self Indulgent version of SKZ’s history as told through Minsung-tinted glasses.

 

— ⁜ —

  
  
  


 

“Cut Hyunjin some slack,” Changbin tells him and all Jisung can do is return the statement with a scowl. Which makes Changbin wince, even though he doesn't verbally acknowledge it.

 _Whatever,_ Jisung thinks childishly. Everyone else already cuts Hyunjin enough slack - he doesn’t understand why he has to do it as well. Plus, he thinks, the admonition is rich coming from Changbin who always seems to have _a_ _lot_ to say when it comes to critiquing Jisung.

He grits his teeth, thinking about this, while Changbin just sighs and shakes his head at him.

“Jisung,” The older says his name in a tone that sounds partly like it’s a warning, and partly just… exasperated. It makes him feel bad, because for all their bickering he actually _respects_ Changbin, and thinks highly of his opinion.

“How about you cut _me_ some slack, hyung?” He mumbles as he gathers his things. Geez, it’s not his fault that Hyunjin sounds like he’s eating the words half of the time he raps. Quite frankly, couldn't his words be considered him actually _helping_ Hyunjin get better? So why the fuck are people all up his ass just because he made a comment about how Hyunjin needed to be more mindful of his fucking diction?

 _“Jisung,”_ Changbin repeats his name, and this time it sounds more like a reprimand than anything else. He’s pretty sure he knows what’s coming next; Changbin is going to go on a spiel about how he and Hyunjin should try harder at working together because they have similar goals - because all of them are aiming to debut _together._

Well, _fuck that,_ Jisung thinks. He honestly doesn’t care if he doesn’t get to debut with that pretty boy prick.

 _“Changbin-hyung,”_ he interrupts, even going so far as to mock Changbin's reprimanding tone, before he can go on any further. He’s petulant and glowering as he picks his bag up and slings the strap over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go, I need a break.”

The older sighs but he waves a hand at Jisung when the latter moves towards the practice room’s exit. He doesn't make a move to follow, and Jisung hates that he's aware it's because Changbin is more than likely to go talk to and comfort that overly sensitive asshat - also known as Hwang Hyunjin - instead.

 _Fucking pretty boy,_ he thinks. He's almost a hundred percent positive that's why everyone always takes Hyunjin’s side over his whenever they have little practice room spats - because Hyunjin looks like a goddamn prince, while Jisung… well he looks the way he looks.

 _You don't look awful,_ he assures himself when he passes by an empty dance room - the door is wide open so he catches a glimpse of his reflection on the wall to wall mirrors. He has nice eyes, or so he's been told. A nice nose, too. He's not particularly keen on his cheeks, but he frequently gets told they're adorable. The only problem is that while his individual features are decent, they don't really go perfectly together.

“No,” he mumbles through gritted teeth, attempting to shake the negativity out of his head. _You aren't bad looking Han Jisung,_ he tells himself, meeting his own gaze on his own reflection as he stands by the doorway of the dance room. _In fact, you're fucking gorgeous,_ he mentally insists.

Maybe if he keeps thinking it, then it'll actually manifest in reality. The power of positive thinking and all that self-help self-confidence mumbo jumbo the JYPE life coach is always talking about during lessons. Still, he can't help but think about how even just once, it would be nice to have someone who has _his_ back, no questions asked.

He sighs and pats his cheeks down, a habit that he’s taken to whenever he needs to psych himself up. Afterwards, he turns - he hadn’t even realised that he’d unconsciously stepped into the empty dance room while he was staring at his reflection - to move out, only to spot a couple of trainees walking towards his direction.

One of them catches his attention easily; it’s mighty cliche, the way his surroundings blur as all his focus is placed on the stranger. He’s new, obviously, because Jisung can’t place a name on him, and he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have forgotten this guy’s name if he’d known it. His face is tiny, but round - like he has precious baby fat waiting to be shed. His eyes are intense, but even from afar Jisung easily observes the pretty way his thick lashes frame them. The slope of his nose bridge is practically perfect, and the curl of his lips, well—

 _Fuck, it’s another pretty boy,_ he thinks, even as he is unable to take his eyes off the newcomer. It’s annoying, because the truth is he doesn’t think ‘pretty’ is a word that cuts it for this boy. _Beautiful,_ is probably more apt, and he gets so lost in in his jumbled thoughts that it takes him more than a beat to realise that he actually knows the other trainee.

“Seungmin—! Seungmin-ah!” It’s like his tongue has a mind of its own, because he finds himself calling out to his friend even though all he'd wanted to do just five minutes earlier was make a quick exit without having to deal with anyone.

“Jisung, hey,” Seungmin greets back once they’re all within proper earshot of each other. Even as Seungmin talks, Jisung still can’t tear his eyes away from the other boy, who he assumes is a new trainee.

“Are you going to introduce me?” He asks, his tone just a little bit demanding.

“This—” Seungmin's eyes briefly narrow at him in disapproval, like he isn't too keen on how Jisung is speaking, but Jisung ignores it; it's quickly overshadowed by the bright smile Seungmin plasters on his face anyway, which he assumes is for the purpose of the newcomer, more than Jisung himself. “This is Lee Minho-ssi, he just became a trainee.”

 _Lee Minho._ Jisung repeats the name in his head, inwardly cringing for a moment because it’s such a common one. In front of him, Lee Minho Who Just Became A Trainee lowers his upper body, bowing so politely, Jisung thinks if he had a protractor he’d be able to measure a perfect ninety degree angle. This flusters him, and his eyes widen as he scrambles to try and mirror the gesture.

“—and this is Han Jisung,” Seungmin continues in the background; when his friend says his name, Jisung lifts his gaze, only for his eyes to meet Minho’s. He feels a warm flush spread across his cheeks, which he doesn’t quite understand. Not even half an hour later, he’d been seething angrily about— _damn,_ because that’s the thing, he barely even remembers now because Minho is _distracting._ He straightens immediately, standing up to his full height and he wills himself to calm down. It barely works, and instead he ends up glaring at the beautiful boy, because again, _shit,_ attractive people are _really, truly annoying._

“It’s nice to meet you Han Jisung-ssi,” Minho says, his lips curling into a small, but friendly smile. His lips are truly fascinating and Jisung has to make a conscious effort to keep his stare focused on the upper half of Minho’s face.

“Oh, yeah, it’s nice to meet you too,” Jisung agrees, his voice a little too loud, but also a little too even. “You guys gonna practice?” He asks, forcing himself to finally peel his gaze off of Minho, so he can look at Seungmin instead, who quickly shakes his head in response to Jisung’s question.

“I was showing him around,” Seungmin explains, giving the watch on his wrist a brief glance. “But now we’re looking for Hyunjin and the others— we’re getting dinner soon. You want to come with?”

Just the mention of Hyunjin’s name is enough to sour Jisung’s mood again. “Nah,” he answers, hands reaching up to grip at the straps of his backpack. “Was gonna go and get some air and some time for myself.”

“Oh, okay.” Seungmin nods, just shrugging even though Jisung is pretty sure he’s more than aware of the rising tensions between himself and Hyunjin. He’s thankful that Seungmin at least hasn’t been trying to tell him to let up on Hyunjin like most of everyone else has been. “Suit yourself. Have you seen him, though? Or maybe Jeongin?”

“He should be around,” Jisung mumbles; his eyes are slowly being drawn towards Minho again, which is _frustrating,_ and it makes him want to just get out of there already. “Probably with Changbin-hyung,” he adds; if the bitterness in his tone seeps through, Seungmin doesn’t react to it either.

“Okay, thanks, we’ll see you around,” Seungmin tells him, before gesturing for Minho to follow him.

Minho, on the other hand, waves at Jisung, while his smile grow wider. “We’ll see you around, Han Jisung-ssi,” he echoes.

“Ah—” Jisung shakes his head, his breath hitching as Seungmin and Minho pass by him. “There’s no need to be so formal,” he mumbles; he’s unsure why he says it - maybe it’s because Minho’s smile is so goddamn cordial and _lovely._

“Okay,” Minho agrees, and Jisung swears his eyes are _sparkling_ when he looks at Jisung again. “I’ll keep that in mind!”

And then Minho is disappearing down the corridor with Seungmin, and Jisung is left to sigh by himself as he heads the other direction towards the elevator, confused as to what kind of mood he's sporting now.

  
  
  


 

The next time Jisung meets Minho is a couple of days later, at a meeting that was requested by Chan, who is pretty highly regarded by all the trainees thanks to the years of training he has under his belt.

When Jisung enters the room where they're supposed to meet, he’s surprised to see that there aren't as many people there as he had assumed there would be. There are five others at the moment - Hyunjin is one of them, which makes him wince. They were in a dance class together the day before, and while they didn't exactly get into another fight, they'd continued giving each other cold shoulders.

“Jisungie!” Someone else calls to him, and when he follows the voice, his eyes land on… _Minho._ The familiarity of the way the other boy calls to him makes Jisung’s ears warm up; he also notices a few curious glances from the other trainees already in the room - from Jeongin and Seungmin, mostly. Minho pats the empty space beside him, which is pretty opportune, as he’s seated over at the side of the room opposite of Hyunjin.

“Hi,” he murmurs, lowering himself down on the floor next to Minho.

“Hello,” Minho returns. “Jisungie.”

It should be annoying, how chummy and informal Minho is being, especially considering they’ve only met once before this, but the way Jisung’s name comfortably slides off Minho’s tongue sounds _and_ feels good.

“You’re being a little too informal, aren’t you?” He retorts, but there’s a hint of teasing in his tone, enough to show that he isn’t offended, despite the cautious and confused grin he’s sporting.

“Oh— didn’t you say that there isn't any need to be so formal?”

Jisung blinks, and then he can't help but laugh because Minho is right, he _did_ say that - he's just never met anyone before who had been so quick to take the words to heart.

“Right,” he murmurs. They're sitting next to each other on the floor, and when Jisung turns his head, he finds that he has the best view of Minho's side profile, seemingly sculpted by gentle hands prone to great detail. Up close, Minho's eyelashes are even more mesmerizing; Jisung also has the strangest urge to find a twelve-inch ruler and place it against his nose to prove how straight and sharp the angle of it is, just because. “Anyway,” he grumbles, shaking his head and averting his gaze because he knows better than to be caught _staring._ “I guess I’m free to call you Minho, then? Or— Minho-hyung? Wait. When were you even born?”

He hopes that Minho is the same age; that would make him a lot easier to befriend. But despite his youthful features, there's something about the way he carries himself that clues Jisung in that he's older. Minho seems like he's in the cusp of adulthood, like Jisung can blink and Minho will have crossed the line to being Fully Grown-Up.

“1998,” Minho answers, his voice soft but sharp at the same time - Jisung doesn't really know how else to describe it. “I turned 20 this year.” And there it is, Minho is newly adult, and in Jisung’s mind that automatically makes him strangely untouchable - or it should, anyway, but it doesn’t, really.

“Is this your first agency?” He finds himself asking, but before Minho can answer, the door is opening and Chan is walking in, shortly followed by Woojin and Changbin.

It turns out Chan wants them - all _nine_ of them - to be a team for the upcoming trainee showcase. Jisung has been with the company for over two years, which means that he has been in countless temporary teams and units before, most of them falling apart after whatever showcase or monthly evaluation they were created for. He wouldn’t think much of this, except he’s been making music with Chan and Changbin since the start of the year, and for the first time in a while, Jisung has found a unit that he thinks he truly fits in. He’d like nothing more than to debut as 3RACHA, but he knows that as much as management has been encouraging them to work on their music, debuting just as the three of them is mostly a pipe dream.

So instead, here he is, just one among eight trainees that Chan has picked to be his team, which is probably as good as he’s gonna get for now. “They told me that if we do really well, it ups our chances of debuting, tenfold.”

The statement makes Jisung scoff - if only he had a hundred won every time he’s heard that during his long career as a trainee, he’d be rich by now. Then maybe he wouldn’t still be struggling in his attempt to debut because he’d just be producing his own music under his own terms. Money’s powerful like that, after all.

Chan shoots him a sharp glance, and he bites the inside of his cheek. He’s got a lot of gripes, but when he recalls that Chan has actually been with JYP Entertainment thrice as long as he has, he manages to feel a little humbled. He sighs to himself and looks around the room, assessing Chan’s choice of trainees.

Changbin is there, of course. He’s a given, and honestly, if he or Jisung hadn’t been included in Chan’s list, he thinks he would have probably thrown some kind of hissy fit. Dramatic, but he’s sure he’s pretty justified. Jisung trusted Chan not to do that, at least, and luckily his trust hasn’t proven to be in vain.

Woojin is also there, and Jisung thinks having him makes perfect sense. If it was up to him to form a group, he thinks he’d pick Woojin too because a good group would need someone strong and reliable to hold the main vocal position. As his eyes pass over Jeongin, he _does_ find himself wondering if maybe the boy isn’t a bit too _young,_ but the thought passes as quickly as it comes when Jisung reminds himself that not only is Jeongin younger than him by less than a year, he’s also been under the agency for almost as long as he has been.

Seungmin is there, and granted, he hasn’t been with JYPE that long, but with a little exhale, Jisung lets that pass. He really likes Seungmin’s vocal color, and given the chance, regardless of the other’s short training time, Jisung thinks he’d pick him for his own team, too.

Felix - he’s sweet, nice, harmless. He works hard, but he’s also someone else who has barely had time to settle into the trainee life. He’s new, and quite raw, and if Jisung is to be honest he really wouldn’t pick him if forming a team was up to him. He’s from Australia, though, and Jisung is aware that Chan feels a kind of kinship with him because of this; he assumes that played a heavy part in his decision to include Felix. Really, it’s just a shade and a half away from nepotism, but it’s a choice Jisung can forgive because he actually _likes_ Felix a lot.

He can’t really say the same about the next person on the list, though.

The truth is that he and Hyunjin actually used to get along just fine. He’s even slept over Hyunjin’s house a few times in the past, once just him, and another time with a couple of other trainees. When Hyunjin had just entered the agency, Jisung had even done his best to help the boy out - they were the same age after all, and same-aged friends should stick together. (This, almost word for word, was something he’d even declared to Hyunjin, back in the day.) He isn’t really sure how, or when their behavior towards each other had changed, he just knows that these days, a week doesn’t go by without them butting heads at least once. It’s tiring, which is why he’d really rather _not_ debut with Hyunjin, if given the chance to pick. But unfortunately for him, that’s not his decision, and even though he’s pretty confident that he and Hyunjin aren’t nearly on the same level with their skills, all he can do is quietly glower because of Chan’s decision to include him in his team.

Hyunjin must have felt Jisung’s eyes on him, because he suddenly glances over his way. Their eyes briefly meet and Jisung feels an urgent need to avert his gaze. Naturally, they end up settling on the boy seated beside him, and this is when he realises just how much of a mystery Minho is. Heck, he doesn’t know what his position is. Is he a rapper? Jisung reckons he looks like he can be one, but he hopes not. He doesn’t need any more people to share lines with, so he’d rather not have another one in the group. Maybe he’s a vocalist? He surmises that would make some sense - Jisung had noticed that when Minho speaks, he does so with such a soft and gentle tone, and he thinks that would add an interesting color to songs. The thought actually tugs at the corners of Jisung’s lips - he’d be interested in hearing Minho sing, he thinks.

“Hey—” He whispers, leaning in closer to Minho so that only the older boy can hear him. Chan is discussing something with the group - answering some question Seungmin asked, he thinks, Jisung doesn’t really care because he’s way more curious about Minho right now. “How did you get into JYP?”

Minho hums in response, and it’s only when he turns his head to face Jisung that the latter realises just closely he’d moved in. His face grows hot, and he quickly leans away; he recovers with a smile, though, which Minho easily returns.

“I auditioned a while back,” Minho whispers. “I guess they kept a copy of my audition tape because they called me recently, and asked if I still wanted to sign with the company.”

“Oh.” Jisung nods; that didn’t really tell him what he’s most curious about, though. “Cool. So— do you sing?”

“Don’t we all?” Minho returns, a cascade of muffled giggles escaping him and earning them both a sharp glance from Chan before Jisung can even tell him off for the very obviously facetious answer.

“Sorry—” they both grumble at once, and they sound so in sync, even in their tone, that it has them holding back more giggles together, _still_ in unison.

  
  
  


 

Later, at the dorm, despite how tired he is - or perhaps, precisely because he's as tired as he is - Jisung finds his way over to Jeongin’s bunk. He slides under the covers next to the younger boy, arms and legs wrapping around the latter’s frame despite protestations.

“Hyung—!” Jeongin whines, only for Jisung to laugh and tighten his hold around him until Jeongin eventually gives in and stops squirming. “Did you at least _wash_ after practice?!”

“Yah.” Jisung’s voice lowers as he loosens his embrace. “Of course I did!”

Jeongin laughs, and lightly pokes Jisung’s stomach - his way of showing that he was just joking around, and just like that, everything is forgiven again.

“Hyung?” Jeongin calls out, soft and inquiring. “What’s on your mind?”

 _A lot,_ he wants to say _,_ because Jisung certainly has a lot of things on his mind. For one, he’s thinking about how empty the dorm has been feeling recently. The room he shares with Jeongin, especially. They used to have a third roommate, Sanghyuk; they’d shared living space for almost a year until he’d decided he had enough and finally left to go back to his home in Daegu, just the week before. “I’m tired, so I’m just going home, paying my parents the respect they deserve— then I’m enlisting, like most of my friends already did last year,” he’d shared with Jisung when he was packing his things. Sanghyuk is two years older than him, and has been with the company even longer than Jisung has been. “I just don’t have it in me anymore to wait around,” he’d added, and in his eyes was a resigned and disillusioned look that Jisung couldn’t really comprehend. It’s this same look that has been haunting Jisung, weighing heavily on him ever since the older had left.

Chan has also been hounding him about lyrics for a song - a melody that he’d let Jisung hear several days ago, and this has constantly been on his mind as well. Words usually come to him easily when he’s inspired, but this time around, he just keeps coming up with random lines and snippets, not all of them fitting together, and it all just adds to the very many frustrations Jisung already has in his life.

Speaking of Chan - his newly assembled team is of course front and center of Jisung’s thoughts. They’d spent a good chunk of that afternoon together, mostly brainstorming, until half of them had to go for some specialised vocal lessons, while 3RACHA had a smaller meeting to talk about their own mixtape project, and their own showcase plans. The trainee showcase is still _almost_ a full month away, but he knows better than anyone how quickly time goes by when you actually need more of it.

In line with his thoughts about the new team, Jisung can’t help the way that Minho’s been running through his mind all evening. He assumes that’s normal - Minho is new, an unknown factor. It’s natural to be curious about something or someone that you don’t know about, right? At least, though, he’s since discovered that Minho’s specialty is _dance._ Jisung, unfortunately, hasn’t really had the opportunity to properly see him in action, but he can’t help look forward to that chance, which he assumes will be soon anyway.

“Hyung?” Jeongin repeats, pulling Jisung out of his reverie. “Thoughts?”

“Just— the showcase,” Jisung shares. It’s not a complete lie. “You think Chan-hyung picked a winning team?”

“I—” Jeongin sounds small; less confident than he usually does when he’s just playing around with Jisung, or any of the other trainees. “I hope so.”

“Me too,” Jisung agrees, sighing as he tiredly nuzzles against Jeongin’s shoulder. After that afternoon’s meeting, Chan has just about managed to convince him that this is really, truly, _finally_ their chance at debut, even more so than all the other supposed chances Jisung has already had in the past. He doesn’t want to hope too much, but he can’t help it now.

“Hey, what do you think of the new guy?” Jeongin suddenly asks, almost as if he’s picked through Jisung’s brain. “Lee Minho-ssi—? Hyunjin-hyung says he toured with BTS as a backdancer.”

“Wait—” Jisung’s interest is newly piqued. “Minho-hyung what?!”

Jeongin flinches, almost as if taken aback by the difference in how the two of them refer to Minho. “Ah, yeah. Hyunjin-hyung says he recognised him from— shit,” He frowns and shifts in place, obviously trying to recall something. “I forgot the name of the dance crew that hyung mentioned. But yeah, the other night we all had dinner together, and Hyunjin-hyung just asked him straight up, I guess because he recognized him or something— and he said it was true. He was even in one of their music videos, I think. BTS’ I mean. He didn’t really offer up much detailed information.”

“Cool,” Jisung murmurs; he has to admit to being impressed. Dancing has never come easily to him personally, so that Minho was actually a working _professional_ dancer - even dancing backup for one of the hottest idol groups at the moment - has him a little bit in awe. “That’s good— we _do_ need strong dancers.”

Jeongin hums in agreement, but then he adds, “He’s a little bit, um— _weird,_ though?” He’s whispering now, so softly, like he’s afraid that someone will hear him and rat him out to Minho even though they’re in the comfort and privacy of their own bedroom.

“Really?” Jisung is confused; he doesn’t really get the same vibe from Minho. If anything, Minho seems… _interesting._ Definitely someone that Jisung wants to get to know better.

“We met for the first time the other day, right? And then not even an hour later, he was coming up to me and asking me if I wanted to go with him to convenience store— who does _that?!”_ Jeongin sounds so perturbed, but Jisung can only laugh.

“What’s so wrong with that?” He asks, because he really does not understand how Jeongin’s particular anecdote is supposed to make Minho strange. Or weird. “Maybe he needed you to show him around—? Or that was just his way of being friendly!”

Jeongin whines. _“You_ would know. The two of you looked quite _friendly_ earlier today.”

There’s something accusatory in the younger’s tone that normally would make Jisung blanch, but just this once he consciously dismisses it. “That’s because we _were_ being friendly!” He declares. “We’re in a team together now. That’s what you’re _supposed_ to do.”

“Sure.” Jeongin snorts. “Because you’re _super_ friendly with _everyone.”_

Jisung wrinkles his nose; the younger is still using that tone and it’s starting to really grate on his nerves. “What are you implying? Huh?!” He huffs, and starts aggressively poking and tickling Jeongin’s sides until he’s reduced to unintelligible screeching  and squirming, and both of them are laughing breathlessly.

  
  
  


 

Their days, just as Jisung anticipated, pass by quick. Their dance instructors have them practicing three different songs in a week - which is already one more than usual, but that’s also on top of Jisung having to work with Chan and Changbin on their music _and_ the supplementary vocal lessons that they’re all required to take now. (And even now, with the tightened schedule, JYP still won’t let up on the weekly ethics lessons, which more often than not, Jisung just ends up using as extra nap time, really.)

And then there’s the minimum of five hours every night are spent as free-for-all practice with the new team; they’ve chosen the two songs to perform at the showcase as nine, which (maddeningly) meant more choreography to memorize, and overall, it’s just about enough to drive Jisung insane.

Minho, on the other hand, memorizes all assigned choreography not just quickly, but with ease and grace. If Jisung wasn’t already impressed before, he’s definitely impressed now. However obvious it is that Minho is still lacking a lot in every other area, he doesn’t care. Everyone has a role to play in a group, he reasons - rather uncharacteristically - with himself, and Minho is their dancer.

His opinion on Minho is probably clouded by the fact that Jisung, in general, feels really drawn to him. Minho’s a little quiet most days, but Jisung has managed to draw laughter out of him enough times to discover that not only do they have compatible humor, but that Minho has a cute, infectious laugh.

“You’re staring,” Changbin tells him as he drops down next to Jisung. They’d just finished two consecutive run throughs of H.O.T’s _Warrior’s Descendant,_ one of their picks for their group performance, and considering the intense choreography, Jisung is completely beat and just sprawled across the floor.

 _“What?”_ He snaps, quickly shifting his gaze to Changbin, feigning complete innocence with regards to Changbin’s comment. It doesn’t work, of course, and Changbin just knowingly scoffs.

“That’s actually really nice of Hyung,” Changbin comments, nodding towards the scene that Jisung had been watching earlier - Minho helping Seungmin and Jeongin out, demonstrating to them more intricate parts of the choreography that they, more than anyone else in the group, have been having trouble with.

“Yeah, well, Minho-hyung’s real nice,” Jisung simply agrees.

Changbin looks like he has more to say, but Woojin’s voice suddenly thunders throughout the room.

“I’m hungry!” Their assigned main vocalist yells. “Rock, paper, scissors— loser buys snacks!” And just like that, the pronouncement has everyone scrambling to gather at the center of the room.

_Rock. Paper. Scissors—_

Jisung chooses scissors together with Minho while somehow, everyone else miraculously chooses rock.

He groans out loud, not really wanting to make the long, lonely trek to the nearest convenience store. And so he turns to Minho and rolls up his sleeve, channeling all the luck he hopes is available to him for the next round.

_Rock. Paper. Scissors—_

Jisung is set to throw a rock this time around, but as he gets ready to hold a closed fist out, he's surprised by Minho suddenly wrapping his fingers around Jisung's own tiny wrist.

“Come on,” Minho says, with a twinkle in his eye that's so mesmerizing, he could probably ask Jisung to do anything in that moment, and Jisung would easily say yes. “Let’s go together— it would be hard for a single person to carry snacks for nine people on his own anyway.”

Jisung sighs, for show more than anything else, because not a second later, he’s already smiling and nodding in agreement. They both go around and take notes on what everyone wants to eat, and the next thing he knows, he’s casually (and literally) rubbing elbows with Minho as they ride the elevator down to the JYPE lobby.

“Hyung, what would you have thrown?” Jisung finds himself asking as they amble down the sidewalk. He playfully bumps his hip against Minho’s, earning hearty laughter from the older boy, which in turn has Jisung flashing a wide and satisfied grin.

“Whatever would have beaten your choice, obviously,” Minho declares, holding Jisung steady as they get ready to cross the street by putting one arm casually around his shoulders.

“Except you don’t know what I was going to play, hyung,” Jisung counters, as they both, at the exact same time, look at both sides of the road before crossing.

Minho snorts. “I was going to play paper,” he says. “You would’ve lost.”

“Excuse you! I was totally going to play scissors!” Jisung is lying through his teeth, but there’s no way Minho can prove that.

Minho just laughs again, untangling himself from Jisung as they both enter the store. “Sure,” he says in a tone that’s clearly just humoring Jisung. “If you say so! Anyway— let’s split up. I’ll cover Chan-hyung’s to Hyunjin’s, and you can pick up from yours to Jeongin’s. Call?”

Jisung doesn’t argue and they go their separate ways inside the store; he throws everything he remembers about what the younger half of their team asked for and eventually he catches up with Minho at the back, where the older is staring at the drinks selection. He stops short, his breath hitching, because  somehow even the pale, fluorescent lighting of the convenience store is illuminating Minho’s profile in such a way that makes his face very, _very_ distracting.

“You’re staring.” Minho’s voice cuts through his thoughts. “Again.”

Well, _shit._

It’s the second time in an hour that he’s been called out for staring, and it’s especially embarrassing this time around because it’s Minho himself telling him off. His first instinct is to deny and go on the offensive, but for once he’s actually tongue tied.

“I know I’m really good looking, Jisungie, but that doesn’t make staring any less rude,” Minho chides him, a half-formed smirk curved on his lips as he grabs a couple of juice boxes to put in his basket.

Jisung’s eyes widen, and the shade of red already coloring his cheeks deepen. “You—you’re not _that_ good looking!” He huffs, just a little bit too defensively as he marches over right up to the older. “You’re _alright_ at best,” he insists, reaching for a bottle of banana milk, and a bottle of chocolate milk. “Maybe a step or two below me on the handsomeness scale.”

Minho actually bursts into guffaws at that, and it’s kinda fascinating the way he laughs - partly full and hearty, and completely booming from his chest, but interspersed with soft, giggly teetering. Jisung snorts at first, but soon he’s joining in, and their combined laughter is echoing throughout the small store, probably annoying the person behind the counter who very likely just wants them to be done with their purchase already so he can go back to lazing around on his smartphone like he’d been doing originally when Minho and Jisung had walked in.

When they empty their baskets at the counter and the cashier starts ringing up the items, Minho briefly leaves Jisung as he wanders towards the ice cream chiller. When he returns, he’s wearing a wide grin, and he sets down two Jaws bars on the counter.

“One for you, and one for me,” Minho tells Jisung, handing him one of the ice pops after they pay for everything and they head out.

“Oh, thanks hyung!” Jisung beams gratefully, all set to step out onto the sidewalk, except Minho stops by the empty tables outside the store. He pulls out a chair and plops himself down on it before pulling out the one next to him and gesturing for Jisung to take it.

“What about the others?” Jisung asks, even though he doesn’t really hesitate to take the seat that’s been offered.

“They’ll still be there when we get back,” Minho points out; he’s already tearing apart the wrapper of his icy treat. “We’re just staying until we finish our ice cream— that’s like… ten more minutes, tops. So you get ten more free minutes to stare at me.”

Jisung huffs, but he doesn’t deny the accusation this time around. He focuses on his ice cream instead, at least until he realises that Minho’s eyes are completely set on him.

“I thought it was rude to stare, hyung,” he teases, even though his face actually feels quite warm thanks to the intensity of Minho’s gaze.

“Oh, don’t mind me— just trying to see where I lose to that face of yours on the so-called handsomeness scale.”

“Hyung—!” Jisung growls as he almost chokes on his now berry flavored spit. “This is why the others think you’re weird sometimes,” he adds with a dramatic sigh.

“Oh? Is that so?” Minho sounds uncharacteristically wistful, which makes Jisung regret his word usage. “Do you think the same?”

Jisung pauses, taking a beat before answering. “No,” he says, completely sincere and truthful. “I think you’re interesting.”

Minho laughs. “It would have been okay if you felt the same, a lot of people do,” he tells Jisung, but there’s a certain look on his face that tells Jisung he’s secretly pleased at the answer he was given.

“Whatever,” Jisung mumbles; his ears still feel hot and he’s completely ready to switch topics. “Ugh— my legs hurt so bad, hyung. And I’m starting to mix up all the choreography that I’ve had to learn this week.”

Minho’s brow furrows, quietly biting off the tip of his ice lolly as he considers Jisung’s words, and then he breaks out a small smile. “You’re a good dancer though, Jisungie. You pick the steps up fast, and you move with a certain ease and lightness that doesn't come naturally to everyone.”

“You say that now because the choreography is still fresh in my mind. Tomorrow I’ll be tripping all over my own two feet.” Jisung isn't usually the type to put himself down like this. Usually he's the first one to hype himself up and boost his own ego, but for some reason, despite the light tone, he can't help but be genuine in revealing his insecurities to Minho.

“Just…” Minho shrugs before smiling and gently knocking his knee against Jisung’s. “Let your body remember the movements, and you'll do fine. You’re the best among all of us, you know. A real triple threat.”

He lifts his chin and once again he finds himself _staring_ at Minho, who flashes him a grin. It’s kinda funny because Minho’s lips are bluish purple now thanks to his ice cream, but even as Jisung laughs, he feels a certain kind of pride blooming in his chest thanks to the older boy’s praise.

“Thanks, hy—” he starts, only to be interrupted by Minho’s phone - which was set, face up, on the table in front of them - lighting up and buzzing incessantly. Jisung watches as Chan’s picture shows up on the screen before Minho snatches the phone up to answer the call.

“Hyung, hey, yeah—” Minho says through the phone mic; Jisung keeps licking his ice cream while quietly listening to Minho’s end of the conversation. “Yeah… yeah— we’re about to pay— yeah, sorry… Jisungie had a bathroom emergency—” Minho covers his mouth as he giggles at the false excuse, and Jisung half snickers and half hisses at him for it. “We’ll be walking back soon— yeah, okay. See you, hyung.”

“So we have to go back?” Jisung asks, sighing because he's really not in a hurry to go.

“Don’t worry, your little bathroom emergency bought us time enough to finish these,” Minho says, chuckling as he gestures towards their half finished Jaws bars.

Jisung pouts because their excuse just had to come at _his_ expense, but then Minho places his phone back down on the table, and Jisung gets completely distracted when he's able to catch a glimpse of his lockscreen before it goes black. “Oh!” He doesn't even hesitate to pick Minho’s phone up. “Cute cats!” He coos, thumb gently pressing on the home button so he can see it again.

Minho’s entire face lights up at his reaction, and Jisung almost misses it because he's too busy looking at the phone screen. “Yeah!” Minho looks so proud when he takes his phone back, only to unlock it and navigate to his gallery. “This is Soonie,” he explains happily, his ice pop starting to melt on the hand holding it as he busies himself with flipping through pictures using the other. “I adopted him when I was in middle school! And this one is Doongie— she can be a bit snobby sometimes but isn't she beautiful anyway?” When he laughs, his eyes _twinkle_ and of course Jisung can't help but stare yet again. “I got her from a friend of a friend.”

“They're so cute!” Jisung is practically gushing as Minho shows him different pictures. “My family has a dog in Malaysia, but I’ve always wanted to take care of cats.”

Minho's smile grows wider at that. “I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he comments, chuckling as he puts his phone down so he can reach over and ruffle Jisung's hair affectionately.

  
  
  


 

The trainee showcase comes and goes and finally - motherfucking _finally_ \- Park Jinyoung says they can debut.

Except there's a caveat: the entire process is to be filmed.

It isn't exactly a surprise. The week leading up to the showcase, management had shoved cameras into their faces, and filmed individual interviews where they had introduced themselves, talked about how it is like to be a trainee under one of the BIG3 agencies, and how grueling the process is when preparing for a trainee showcase - even the girls had done it, and everyone had assumed that it was for documentation purposes. Trainee showcases are always a big deal, after all, doubly so if it's one of the bigger agencies.

Park Jinyoung also informs them that their group still has a lot of weaknesses, a lot of holes, and if they want to debut with their current lineup, then they better work hard and shape up. It’s not explicitly said, but it's nevertheless heavily implied - slack off, and management will take liberties in cutting off anyone who doesn't meet expectations.

The warning, coupled with the idea of debuting on TV on a show where all their shortcomings will be put under a spotlight elicits all kinds of reaction from most of the boys, but Jisung—

He’s _ecstatic._

He did so well, receiving nothing but compliments that he finds it hard to focus on anything else. It’s not that he's looking forward to anyone being dropped from the lineup (not even Hyunjin, he _swears)_ , it's more that he's too happy to even consider anything else. It’s strange, because he’d been sporting a way more cynical outlook, just a month ago.

“Hyung, it’s happening!” He squeaks happily, later than night, when it's just him and Minho, and he's watching the older gather his things in the practice room. “We’re going to debut!”

Minho laughs, zips his bag up and sets it down before he moves to sit on the couch next to Jisung, who automatically twists around so he can stretch across the small space and place his head on Minho’s lap instead. “You're really confident about this,” Minho muses, looking down at him, and gently running fingers through the younger's hair.

 _It's nice,_ Jisung thinks. _Comfortable._ He can probably fall asleep like this, even though he shouldn't, because they'd be looking for him at the dorm.

“We did really well,” he murmurs, sounding a little distracted as he nuzzles against Minho's hand.

He's known the older for only a little over a month, but it feels so much longer. He supposes cramming for a very important showcase - which includes all sorts of late nights and early mornings - easily strengthens relations and puts new friendships on the fast track. That's the only explanation that Jisung has as to why he already feels like he knows Minho so well.

“Hyung, we’ll do it together. We’re going to debut together.”

He hasn't really said these words out loud to anyone in a very long time. He’s been burned too many times by trainees coming, going, quitting and even debuting under different companies. He’s tired of making promises and aiming for dreams with others, and for a while now, his goal really has been solely to debut, never mind who he does it with.

But right then, in that moment, with all his heart, he wants to do it - he wants to debut - with Minho. He wants to _believe_ that he’ll be able to debut with Minho. Heck - he thinks, he actually, _truly,_ wants to debut with this particular group now. All nine of them and not one less.

 _Goddamn, Chan-hyung,_ he finds himself thinking even as he slowly drifts off to sleep, Minho’s gentle caressing of his hair doing nothing except add to his lethargy. _He sure knows how to put together a group._

  
  
  


 

It doesn't even take another month before Jisung starts wishing that he hadn’t drunk Chan's bullshit Kool-Aid.

It takes barely a couple of weeks because that’s when Minho gets eliminated.

_Eliminated._

Dropped. Cut. _Culled from the debut line-up._

Jisung can't help but think that maybe if he hadn't bought into Chan’s pep talks, and Chan’s proclamations of them all _doing this together,_ then maybe he wouldn’t be feeling as shattered as he is.

Joke's on him, really. Park Jinyoung had told them straight up that not all of them were guaranteed a spot at the end, he just refused to listen because he had his head up in the clouds. He was distracted by compliments and the comfortable feeling of group camaraderie. Considering his years as a trainee, he really should have known better.

Changbin looks like he feels even worse; they have lessons together and Changbin is just quiet and uncharacteristically solemn. A far cry from his usual easy and humorous self. It makes Jisung wonder if Changbin blames himself for Minho’s elimination, and the thought makes his blood boil.

At the same time, admittedly, he wonders - what if Minho had ended up under his leadership instead? Would he still be around? Or would Park Jinyoung have eliminated him anyway? Jisung wonders if he’d be blaming himself in that case, and then he thinks,

_Fuck all that._

He feels anger building from within him, mostly at the company because _how dare they toy with dreams and emotions so easily?_ Even worse, how dare they do it for the sake of entertainment? It was bad enough whenever trainees got told that they’re not good enough, but to have it broadcast for everyone to see is just plain cruel.

Jisung forces himself to start thinking about only himself again; it’s the only way he’s able to attend lessons and practice, the only way he can look at the camera and answer the PD’s questions calmly, without snapping like an unfed shark at every turn.

But then at one particular lesson, Hyunjin _eats his goddamn words yet again_ and Jisung gets really riled up. The traitorous thought of _why couldn’t it have been Hyunjin to go instead?!_ passes through his consciousness and he kinda hates himself for it. It’s a challenge but for once he actually manages to hold his tongue until lessons are over; as soon as the instructor dismisses them, he’s up and storming out the door.

Unfortunately, their debut group has dance lessons right after so Jisung barely has time to calm down before Hyunjin’s mere presence starts to get him heated again. He’s so focused on tempering his anger that he misses a few beats, and he doesn't move as sharp as she should at some parts.

“Hey, Jisung—” Hyunjin calls his attention after they go through ‘Hellevator’ a couple of times. “You should hold your arms up higher—” he says, _generously_ demonstrating the correct way how a certain part of the choreography should be done. All things considered, Hyunjin is being a conscientious teammate, but Jisung, who was already feeling ticked off at him, doesn’t see it that way.

“Mind your own fucking business,” he mutters, walking right past him so he can grab a bottle of water. Hopefully a drink helps cool him done.

“Well that’s just rude,” Hyunjin snaps back, turning and fixing a glare of his own at Jisung.

“Excuse me?!” Jisung stands to his full height and lifts his chin, eyes shooting daggers at Hyunjin. “I’m not the one offering unsolicited advice— now _that’s_ rude.”

Hyunjin actually has _the gall_ to scoff and roll his eyes. “Whatever,” he says. “Why don’t you just dance correctly so we don’t have problems?”

And that’s it, that’s all it takes before Jisung is seeing _crimson_. “What did you say?!” He takes one step forward, all set to rush at Hyunjin, except Changbin quickly appears by his side, hand on his arm, silently imploring him to stop. When Jisung tries to shrug him off, Changbin simply tightens his grip on his wrist. It pisses Jisung off even more, but even if Changbin can physically restrain him, there’s nothing they can do about holding his tongue. “If we’re talking problems, then why don’t _you_ learn to fucking rap right?!”

The way a flash of hurt registers in Hyunjin’s eyes does not go amiss with Jisung. He looks like he’s about to cry, and while a part of Jisung feels bad about that, another part - a louder, more obnoxious part - just gets even more annoyed. _Your tears aren’t helpful,_ he almost spits out, but then the door opens and their dance instructor enters the room.

“What’s going on here?” Instructor Bae asks, only to be met with complete silence.

Jisung looks down at his shoes, guilty, but then he hears someone’s breath hitching, and when he looks up, he finds Hyunjin hurrying out of the room. Beside him, Changbin moves to go after the taller boy, but Chan quickly holds him back.

“Jisung.” Chan is using his his Stern Leader Voice, the one that strikes fear in everyone whenever they hear it. “Go after him.”

Jisung’s jaw drops; he wants to complain and ask _why him_ but the way Chan is looking at him leaves no room for whining.

“Fine,” he grumbles; he grudgingly goes after Hyunjin, but he doesn’t forget to stomp his feet on his way.

After he steps out of the practice room, Jisung catches a blur that distinctly resembles Hyunjin go into the men’s bathroom down the hall. With a deeply annoyed sigh, he trudges down the corridor until he reaches his destination.

“Hyunjin?” He calls out, knocking once before pushing the door open. “I know you're in there.”

The bathroom, at first glance, is empty, but one of the stalls has its door shut, and when Jisung takes a peek at the opening at the bottom, he recognizes Hyunjin’s trainers immediately.

“Hwang Hyunjin, are you crying in there?” He asks haughtily.

“Fuck off!” Hyunjin snaps back, but Jisung knows he’s right because of the way he recognizes a half sob right after.

“Geez, man up,” he says. “Come out here and let's talk this out, man to man.”

Several seconds pass without any response, but Jisung doesn't leave. He stays there, arms folded across his chest as he leans against the counter, waiting for Hyunjin to come out.

And then there’s soft rustling behind the stall door, and then it finally opens. Hyunjin’s eyes and nose are red, which further confirms Jisung’s earlier suspicions.

“Fuck you Han Jisung,” Hyunjin hisses at him. “You’re an asshole.”

 _Okay,_ Jisung thinks. He probably deserves that.

“Whatever,” He shoots back anyway. “What do you want to do about it?” Hyunjin’s bottom lip quivers, and it makes Jisung almost want to punch his annoyingly pretty face. “Jesus fucking Christ, don’t tell me you’re gonna cry again?! Can you not?!”

“What the hell do you want from me Jisung?!”

“Nothing! I want exactly _nothing_ from you!” And it’s the complete truth, because right in that moment, Jisung wanted exactly _nothing_  to do with Hwang Hyunjin. Alas, it was clearly too much to ask, because they were right in the middle of preparing to debut together. No amount of contempt for some pretty boy hack is going to make Jisung loosen his grip on this chance at his dream.

“I’m not gonna go away, Jisung. I deserve—” Hyunjin’s breath hitches as what seems to be a wave of  insecurity takes over him, and he quite obviously re-words what he was about to say. “I _want_ this chance to debut as much as everyone else in our team.”

Jisung _knows_ that. He knows he isn’t easily getting rid of Hyunjin, and he knows they can’t keep fighting like this. So he suggests the only option left to them,

“Let’s just pretend then.” Hyunjin gives him a strange look, but he doesn't say anything, so Jisung takes that as his cue to continue. “We don't have to talk. We don't have to get along, really. We just have to be cordial in front of the others, be a little friendly in front of cameras, but otherwise, we don't really have to acknowledge each other.”

Hyunjin nods, slow and deliberate. “So we pretend to be good in front of everyone else, but otherwise we ignore each other’s existence— that’s what you're saying, right?”

“Exactly.”

Hyunjin looks uneasy; it almost makes Jisung roll his eyes because he thinks Hyunjin should learn that not everyone is going to like him or fall at his feet. But then Hyunjin is nodding again and accepting the terms.

“Good,” Jisung says. “I’d say let's shake on it, but whatever. We don’t have to.”

  
  
  


 

“Jisung?”

It’s late night, but he’d stayed behind even after everyone else had headed back to the dorm. He’s sure Chan is stuck in his own studio, a couple of floors away, and this is why no one had argued when Jisung said he was staying, too.

He’s been dancing to ‘Hellevator’ for almost two hours straight, and he’s exhausted, which is why he was just sprawled out on the floor, staring at the ceiling, when the familiar voice had called out to him.

He pulls himself up, resting his weight on his elbows as he glances at the half-opened door. “Hyung?”

“Hey, I was passing by and thought that was you.” The door opens fully, and Minho walks in, duffel bag slung across his shoulder. He flashes Jisung a tired smile, and then he closes the door behind. “You’re all by yourself?”

Jisung nods, and this time he forces himself up to a sitting position, gathering his knees close to his chest, and waits for Minho to join him. “You were practicing too, hyung?”

“Yeah, I was on the fifth floor. Had some one-on-one vocal instruction.”

Jisung can sense that Minho isn't telling him the entire truth, but he chooses not to ask just yet. He’s really just glad to have the older there; for some reason, Minho has a strange, calming effect on him and he wants to revel in that nice feeling for a moment.

Minho sits on the floor next to him, legs stretched out ahead of him. They’re both facing the huge mirror lining one side of the room, and Jisung can’t help but study Minho’s reflection. He looks as tired as Jisung feels; his cheeks look sunken and there are bags under his eyes. All things considered, he really shouldn't look as ethereal as Jisung still finds him to be.

“Hyung,” he murmurs, giggling and stretching his legs out in front of him so he can copy Minho. “I missed you.”

Minho laughs; he also _sounds_ tired, but the sound still brings a smile to Jisung’s face. “Already?!” He scoffs and nudges Jisung’s knee with his own. “It’s been _two_ days!”

Jisung pouts quietly, and when their eyes meet through the mirror, Minho lets out a heavy sigh.

“Me too, Jisungie,” Minho admits, flashing a tiny, restrained smile.

Even though Minho is acting like he’d been forced to say it, Jisung knows he truly means it. That’s just how Minho is - he’s awkward about expressing emotion, but in serious moments he would never say anything that he doesn’t truly mean.

Jisung tugs at one of Minho’s arms, wrapping it around himself as he leans against the older’s side. “How’ve you been, hyung?” He asks, eyelids fluttering close as he allows himself to relax.

“Hmmm,” Minho hums and subtly pulls Jisung closer. “Busy. I might not be debuting any time soon, but I need to be at my best so I don’t miss out on the next opportunity, yeah?”

Jisung’s brow creases at the reminder that Minho isn’t a part of the same team as him anymore. He’s sure Minho will make it one day - his improvement has been quite dramatic. Minho has actually been doing pretty well before he’d been cut, at least during rehearsals. He always stepped up to whatever challenges him, and his rap and vocals have been steadily improving. It really isn’t fair that Park Jinyoung decided to sack him from the group just because some nerves got the better of him during the live performance. It’s not fair that Jisung is losing this opportunity to debut with him, just because he had a minor slip up. Fucking Park Jinyoung should be watching them at rehearsals instead - if he had, then maybe Minho would have been able to show just what kind of potential he truly had.

“Jisung—?” Minho’s gentle voice cuts through his thoughts. “You still there?”

“Yeah, hyung, sorry. Was just thinking.”

“Well— that’s new,” Minho retorts, and it takes Jisung a beat to realise that a joke is being made at his expense.

“Yah, hyung!” He whines, straightening up so he can move away, except Minho tightens his hold around him, keeping Jisung close.

“Hey, Jisungie, I lied.”

Well, he certainly wasn't expecting that.

_“What.”_

“I didn't just pass by and notice you. Changbin told me where you’d be,” he explains; somehow, Jisung isn't completely surprised. “He also told me about the fight with Hyunjin.”

That makes Jisung scowl, but he really doesn't have it in him to get more riled up than that. “Are you also going to tell me to make nice with Hyunjin?”

“No,” Minho answers, quick and easy, which has Jisung giving his reflection a confused look. All the other members have been telling him was just that, exactly. _Be nice to Hyunjin. Be friends with Hyunjin - you're stuck together. Don’t provoke Hyunjin, he’s sensitive._ That last one especially annoys Jisung - is he supposed to be an unfeeling rock?!

Minho laughs, probably at his expression, which makes Jisung huff like an overgrown child. “I mean,” Minho clarifies, “you probably should, but I’m sure everybody else is already on your case about it. Besides, getting along with someone isn't something that can be forced. It just happens.”

 _True enough,_ Jisung silently agrees. Just like how getting along with Minho comes so easily and naturally for him.

“Thanks,” he mutters. “Wait— so why are you here, then, if not to scold me about Hyunjin?”

“What, I’m not allowed to drop by anymore?”

“No!” Jisung protests a little too vehemently, his arms wrapping possessively around Minho as if to show that not only is he welcome, but that Jisung really wants him there. “Of course you are, hyung.”

Minho chuckles, and pats the back of his head the way he seems to do whenever Jisung says or does something that amuses him. “I just wanted to make sure you aren’t alone and wallowing in your own anger and self-pity.”

“Hyung—?” Minho’s words touch Jisung, in part because it’s obvious that the older boy cares for him so much, but also because there’s something in his tone that implies he understands perfectly.

The older shrugs in response. “It’s what I would’ve done. And I know I would've loved non-judgmental company.”

Jisung sighs and secures his hold around Minho, moving as close as he can and pressing his face against the latter’s arm. “Thank you.”

“Whatever, it's not a big deal,” Minho assures him, but even if he downplays his kind caring, it doesn't mean Jisung is actually going to appreciate it less. “Hey— you were practicing Hellevator, right?”

Jisung nods wordlessly; he's still leaning his forehead against Minho’s arm, too comfortable to move otherwise.

“Want me to help a bit?” Minho offers, which has Jisung perking up. A huge chunk of the Hellevator choreography had been contributed by Minho, so doing a run through with him would definitely help Jisung a lot. “I mean— I don't know what right I have to say that as someone who basically just got kicked off the song, but—”

“Shut up,” Jisung says, laughing and clamping a hand over Minho’s mouth. “Of course I’d love your help!”

  
  
  


 

Nine or none, that was their metaphorical battle cry.

But then Felix gets eliminated next, and Jisung doesn't know how to feel anymore.

_Nine or none. Nine or fucking none._

The words keep running through his head, and objectively, he should find them ridiculous. Debuting has been his dream for as long as he can remember now, but it’s not just his.

It’s Chan’s dream too, and Changbin’s. Woojin’s, Seungmin’s, Jeongin’s. Hyunjin’s as well, even. It’s unfair to think that they’d even consider dropping the opportunity, just because management wouldn’t let them have the original lineup they - Chan, mostly - had chosen for themselves.

But then he remembers that it’s Minho and Felix’s dream, too, and he almost wants to take the words to heart. The feeling is so foreign to him, and it makes him wonder if this is actually him losing steam and being close to giving up.

Maybe it's the stress brought on by preparing for so damn much in such a short amount of time, or maybe it's the shared frustration of nine people having something they all badly want dangled in front of them, only to be told that it can be snatched away any time if they're not careful.

 _Fuck_ \- only to have it _actually_ snatched away from two of them.

Jisung didn't cry that much when Minho was eliminated. He was broken-hearted, yes, but his anger prevailed at the time, and spurred him on like some kind of fucked up adrenaline shot. But when Park Jinyoung announces that Felix is lacking too much to be in the debut group, it's like a dam inside Jisung breaks.

After the cameras stop rolling, he goes off and finds Felix by sitting by himself, at the bottom step of the stairs between third and fourth floors of the JYPE building.

“Lix, hey—” Jisung begins, lowering himself to sit next to the Australian. It’s dark, because the stairwells only have faded incandescent lighting illuminating them, but Jisung clearly notices how the other boy’s eyes are bloodshot and swollen from too much crying. He knows that he originally wouldn't have chosen Felix for a team of his own, precisely because of everything that Park Jinyoung had just said about him, but now Jisung just thinks his past self was stupid. Felix came on his own to a country where he could barely speak the language, moved away from his parents and sisters and a comfortable life that he’s accustomed to, all because he's determined to chase after his dream. Felix, despite whatever shortcomings he has, would be good for the team because this is all he has. “Felix—”Jisung repeats, except this time around, he actually hears his own voice break.

He puts one arm around the younger boy, and they huddle close together, their soft sobs echoing around the empty stairwell.

That night, Jisung allows himself to stop focusing on just himself. He allows himself to cry for Felix and his dreams - allows himself to finally _truly_ cry for Minho and his dreams.

  
  
  


 

“Congratulations. All nine of you are going to debut.”

Jisung thinks that moment - the moment that Park Jinyoung utters these words into his microphone, and the entire live audience cheers - could easily go down as the happiest moment in all his eighteen years of existence. It surprises even him, because when he runs across the stage to wrap his arms around Minho, the exaltment he feels truly exceeds any other emotion he’s felt before; it’s even more powerful than any feeling Jisung has ever anticipated feeling.

It makes him want to scream, so he does just that - right there on stage as all nine of them hug and pounce on each other, none of them able to hold back from expressing the pure joy that’s taken over all of them.

Later that night, when they get back to the dorm, they celebrate by toasting Coca-cola - a drink which they have too much of, thanks to the endorsement deal that their company has made with the brand. Changbin tries to butter up their manager so that he’d let them at least share one bottle of soju or beer amongst nine of them, but the idea is quickly shot down, much to everyone's disappointment. Well, except Chan, who looks strangely relieved - Jisung imagines that the last thing he wants is to get any of them in trouble, especially right after their debut status has been confirmed.

Despite the initial buzz that the carbonated drink has to offer, they all end up turning in early. The last week has been quite hectic, and both physically and emotionally draining, so it isn't surprising that their collective desire to rest and sleep takes over as soon as they finally _can_ do those things.

Right before dawn breaks, Jisung gets out of bed for a bathroom break. He quickly and quietly does his business, but after he exits the bathroom - fully intent on going back to bed and sleeping in through the morning - he gets distracted by the sound of subtle movement in the kitchen. When he goes and takes a peek, he’s surprised to find Minho there, arms folded across his chest as he stares at a pot of water that's set on top of the stove, presumably waiting for it to boil.

“Hyung?” Jisung calls out, only for Minho to to flinch and practically jump in surprise. The sight has Jisung snickering - it’s not always that one catches Lee Minho off guard.

“Why the fuck are you sneaking around?!” Minho berates him, right before he starts tearing open two packets of ramyeon that were sitting on the counter.

“I wasn’t—” Jisung argues, laughing. He’s fully awake now, and curious about what the older boy is up to. “Hyung, you’re going to be bloated in the morning if you eat all that now,” he says, walking over and resting his chin on Minho’s shoulder as he watches the latter empty the seasoning packets into the boiling water.

“Talk like that and I won’t share with you,” Minho warns him.

Jisung laughs some more, and shakes his head. “Noooo, hyung, I want some too—” he declares, pouting. “Let me be bloated with you. We can be ramyeon pigs together.”

Minho snorts. “Well, if you put it that way, how can I refuse?!” He gently elbows Jisung's stomach, which causes the latter to grin as his arms slide around Minho’s midsection.

They're both quiet as Minho puts the noodles in the broth, Jisung just watching and quietly inhaling the delicious scent of MSG. “Hyung?” He whispers suddenly.

“Hmm?”

“We’re really doing this together.”

“What?” Minho laughs. “Eating unhealthy ramyeon at 3 in the morning?”

“No!” Jisung whines, lightly slapping Minho on the shoulder just because he can. “I meant debut— we’re really going to debut together.”

Minho smiles; he mixes the contents of the pot with a pair of metal chopsticks before quickly turning the stove off not even two minutes after he’d put the noodles in - both of them like their ramyeon on the firm side. “I know,” he agrees, turning his head to the side so he can give Jisung a smile.

“I’m happy we’re doing it together, hyung.”

“Me too.”

They're both just standing there, exchanging silly grins, when they should probably be taking the ramyeon pot off the stove, already.

“I’m glad it's all nine of us,” Jisung continues, and this time it sounds like he’s a little bit in awe of his proclamation, like he can't believe how genuinely and truly he means his own words.

Minho laughs.

“I don't doubt it, Jisungie, I really don't.”

  
  
  


 

The path to their actual debut is even more hectic than what Jisung - what any of the members, really - anticipated. Management had decided that it would be good to market them as self-produced idols, which, at first, makes Jisung practically burst at the seams with overflowing pride.

But then it becomes apparent that management still has complete veto power with regards to what actually makes the final cut, and he deflates a little. They get collaborators working on melodies with them, rearranging their beats, and Jisung slowly starts to feel more and more humbled.

Still - at the end of the day, his goal of so many years is completely within reach, so he strives to work harder. He and Changbin start having nights as sleepless as their leader’s, because even though Chan insists that the two of them need their sleep (ridiculous, because so does he, but he never mentions _that)_ they all know that their efforts are key to the entire group’s success.

It would have been fine, probably - 3RACHA has had their fair share of sleepless nights before, mostly weeks leading up to their mixtape releases. The difference this time, however, is that management has decided that it would be good to get their name out there, that a little predebut promotion would help get them more fans, and would ensure that the fans they _did_ gain during their survival show wouldn't be bored and leave them while waiting. So they do it all - even though they’re glorified trainees at most, they have fansigns, and they release all kinds of content. They even film short reality content for VLIVE, and they actually perform a couple of songs on M! Countdown.

It’s so tiring, and hectic, and Jisung is tired as fuck, but at the same time he feels so good. Jisung really is the type of person who shines brightest when he’s doing a lot.

He can almost say things are perfect, except— they're not.

Things are still tense between him and Hyunjin; they don't fight as much as they used to - in fact, they don't really, at all, because they mostly just tiptoe around each other’s presence, especially when the cameras off. It’s a problem because the group is together almost 24/7 these days, between living together and eating together and rehearsing together. Even in practice, they do the bare minimum of acknowledging each other, and as much as everyone else tries to accommodate-slash-ignore their ongoing silent feud, it still throws off their group chemistry.

But then rumors about Hyunjin surface shortly before they're set to officially debut. Jisung doesn't read about them himself, but Jeongin shows them to him - all kinds of nasty words written about Hyunjin on the internet that even Jisung, who is nowhere near Hyunjin’s biggest fan, feels sick. (“Has he read these?” He asked Jeongin, who simply shrugged in response; the worried pity in his eyes gave Jisung the answer he wanted to know anyway.)

He wants to talk to Hyunjin, maybe tell him that even he knows he isn't the kind of person those rumors are claiming him to be, but his own pride chokes him up. So he thinks, _whatever,_ because Hyunjin probably has enough people reassuring him of his princely greatness anyway.

And then it happens on the night before Hyunjin’s birthday; Jisung gets back from working on music at the studio with Changbin and Chan, and he’s tired so he just wants to throw himself onto his bed, except when he gets to the threshold of his room, he finds that the door is open a tiny crack. Inside, he easily catches a glimpse of Seungmin and Hyunjin - unsurprising, considering they're his roommates, except Hyunjin is huddled closed against Seungmin’s side as soft sobs visibly wrack his entire body. Seungmin, on his part, just sits there, rubbing Hyunjin’s back for comfort without saying anything.

It feels like a very intimate scene, and Jisung is embarrassed to be witness to it, so he turns on his heel. He figures he can crash on someone else’s bed for a few hours - Minho’s, maybe. Before he can step away completely, he hears Hyunjin suddenly speak up - his voice is soft, _broken_ because he’s talking in between sniffs and sobs. Jisung thinks that maybe he shouldn't be hearing any of what Hyunjin is saying; they're thoughts and feelings that he's sharing privately with his best friend after all. It's too late, obviously, because now Jisung is privy to Hyunjin’s deepest insecurities and it makes his heart _hurt._

“Jisungie—?” It’s Minho, standing a few feet away, obviously having just gotten back to the dorm himself. He’s giving Jisung a worried look, to which he can only smile awkwardly in response, before placing his index fingers against his lips as a gesture for the older boy to stay quiet.

This is when Minho looks past Jisung, and presumably also catches a glimpse of whatever it is that's going on in the room Jisung shares with the other two. “Oh,” he murmurs, before nodding at Jisung in acknowledgment. And then he reaches out, taking Jisung’s hand in his, and he leads him away. “Come on,” he says. “Let's get some air.”

Minho doesn't say anything even after they exit their apartment building; he doesn't really let Jisung’s hand go either as they walk together. Jisung doesn't really know where they're headed, and simply lets Minho lead until they arrive at the convenience store down the street.

“Hyung, I feel bad,” Jisung suddenly shares while Minho is indecisively picking between snacks. “I never realised that Hyunjin was carrying all that baggage— I never realised how much what everyone says weighs on him.”

Minho places the bag of chocolate biscuits he’d been eyeing back on the shelf, and then he turns to face Jisung. “Isn't that how it is for everyone, though?”

Jisung sighs. “I mean— yeah. Of course we all take into consideration what other people say, hyung. But— well, with you and me, we use negativity to spur us forward, yeah?”

“You and me?” Minho laughs. “You think I’m invincible to criticism like you are?”

“Hyung—” Jisung whines. “You know what I mean!”

Minho simply chuckles and gestures for Jisung to go on, because despite his teasing, _of course_ he knows and understands what Jisung is talking about. This is one of the things that Jisung likes about talking to Minho - he never has to explain himself, because Minho always just gets him.

He sighs. “Hyunjin just really takes everything to heart, and negativity pushes him down instead of pushing him forward—” Jisung grimaces; a month ago, he would have considered Hyunjin weak for that, but these days, especially after he’s been witness to both Minho _and_ Felix practically claw their way back into the group, he’s starting to realise that strength comes in different  forms. The fact that Hyunjin is still working so hard despite being ran to the ground by harsh, baseless words coming from people of no importance - that's a kind of strength of its own. “Hyung, I just really feel bad that I’ve been adding to his burden all this time.”

“Jisungie—” Minho chuckles and pinches his cheek gently, before making up his mind, and grabbing a bag of cheese puffs off the shelf. “If you feel that way, then you just make it up to him, yeah?”

He makes the solution sound so simple, but for once, Jisung considers that maybe it really is quite so.

  
  
  


 

When they get back to the dorm, Jisung finds that Seungmin is out in the living room with Felix, language textbooks spread across the coffee table. They seem pretty occupied with whatever they're doing, but Jisung doesn't hesitate to ask them, anyway,

“Hyunjin in the room?”

Seungmin looks up and shoots him a wary glance. “Yeah, but I think he wants to be alone right now.”

Behind him, Minho walks over and gives his lower back a reassuring rub before he drops down on the floor next to Felix.

“Yeah, well—” Jisung shrugs and keeps his eyes on Seungmin. “It’s my room too,” he points out, unable to keep misplaced petulance out of his tone.

Seungmin wrinkles his nose, and he looks like he’s about to say something to argue, but then Minho is tugging at his sleeve, and asking him about something that’s in one of the open textbooks in front of them. Jisung uses the opportunity to excuse himself and duck into the room in question.

“Hyunjin?” He calls out softly. “You awake?”

The only answer he gets is muffled grunting; it makes Jisung feel awkward, but he supposes he’ll never get anywhere if he never makes a move forward.

“Hey, so—” he inhales deeply. “I just want to apologise—”

More muffled grunts, but this time there’s a hint of confusion in them.

“You know. For everything,” Jisung mumbles; he shuffles forward until he's standing right in front of Hyunjin’s bed. “You seem to think you aren’t worth much… and I know I haven't really helped make you feel otherwise, but, uh—” he winces, feeling awkward about this apology that probably seems to Hyunjin like it’s coming out of nowhere. “You’re my teammate, Hyunjin, and you’re a very important member of Stray Kids.”

Jisung hears sighing, and then Hyunjin is slowly sitting up, and facing Jisung. “Why are you being nice all of a sudden?” He’s giving Jisung a suspicious look, which makes Jisung feel even more tense.

“Because!” Jisung huffs; his pride is making this hard, so he consciously pushes it away. “I want to be friends. Again. You know— like we were. You don't deserve the kind of lies that are being spread about you.”

Hyunjin actually smiles, or, well, Jisung notices a hint of a smile briefly curve on his lips, and it makes him relax.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin takes a deep breath. “We _were_ good friends for a while weren’t we?”

“Mhm!” Jisung nods and chuckles, leaning over and tapping Hyunjin’s knee so that the latter can move aside and make room for Jisung to sit on the bed with him. “Still remember your mom making breakfast that one time I slept over— she makes such good side dishes, man.”

Hyunjin laughs. “I’ll make sure to tell her that.” He pauses and regards Jisung warily. “Why _did_ we start hating each other?”

Jisung shrugs. “Everyone kept fawning over you,” he grumbles. “It was annoying.”

Hyunjin frowns. “That's not true— you always got praised for your skills, and I always envied that. People always tell me I don't need to do anything because I have my face.”

“Exactly! That’s annoying!”

“Yeah, well it annoyed me too,” Hyunjin shares, his voice dipped in bittersweetness.

“I kinda figured that now,” Jisung admits. “Sorry. I was petty and unreasonable.”

“I’m sorry too, I wasn’t any better,” Hyunjin returns.

“No you weren’t,” Jisung agrees too easily and quickly, and it makes them both laugh. “Water under the bridge?”

Hyunjin nods, echoing, “Water under the bridge.”

“Great.” Jisung flashes a big, wide grin and holds up a plastic bag that he’s been holding the entire time. “Minho-hyung told me I should make it up to you. Sort of. Not in so many words—” He laughs, and offers the plastic bag to Hyunjin; inside is a pack of sheet masks made to look like cute, puppy faces. “So, I figured the first thing to do is get you a birthday gift.”

Hyunjin takes it, and looks inside, only to laugh out loud. “So you got me something from… GS25?!”

“Hey! It’s the thought that counts, you know!”

“Yeah, I guess—” Hyunjin keeps laughing anyway; he sounds better and less burdened compared to how he was just ten minutes earlier though, so Jisung takes it as a win. “Thanks, friend.”

Jisung snorts, and then he nudges Hyunjin’s side. “You’re welcome, friend.”

  
  
  


 

March 25th, 2018. An unforgettable day because they finally do it - they finally debut. Granted,  Jisung is Han, now, Minho is Lee Know, and Jeongin is I.N. They're all still getting used to referring go each other that way, especially in public, but really, that's so far from the forefront of Jisung’s thoughts.

It’s an amazing feeling, but at the same time, there’s something strange about it.

As happy as Jisung feels, somehow, it still doesn't beat that time when Park Jinyoung told them that all nine of them were officially in this together.

“It’s because actually debuting has nothing on being told that you’re going to be in a team with me,” Minho teases, when Jisung shares these thoughts with him.

They're in Japan for KCON, their first overseas schedule after having officially debuted, and Jisung’s excitement is heightened by the fact that he’s rooming with Minho. They're in their room, just lounging around after having finished whatever they ordered from room service, talking about anything and everything they could think of.

They had started with Jisung asking Minho about his previous experience in Japan, when he was a dancer touring with BTS, and somehow, after all the funny anecdotes (“I got lost, once, with one of my dancer hyungs— and neither of us spoke Japanese well or _at all,_ so after we asked for directions, we ended up even _more lost!”)_ they end up on the topic of their own debut.

“Hyung, please!” Jisung snorts, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Minho. “I’m being serious here!”

“Did I look like I was joking?” Minho presses his lips together, and stares at Jisung blankly the way he tends to do when the entire group is together, and Minho is bored, or doesn't have much to add to the conversation.

“Hyung—!” Jisung whines, and that’s all it takes for Minho to break his stoic facade and start laughing. The sound, as usual, makes Jisung beam with pride. For some reason, it never gets old, the way Minho laughs, especially when Jisung is the cause for it. It makes him think, though - even if Minho had been joking earlier, that maybe there had been some actual truth to what he said.

Finding out that he was going to debut with Minho - with Chan, Changbin, Woojin, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin, and Felix, too - was a very special moment, especially when you consider that he had almost missed that opportunity.

“Actually— I guess you’re right,” he suddenly confesses to a confused Minho.

“Right?”

“Being told that I was going to officially be in a team with you was a very happy moment,” he explains, grinning cheekily, despite his very even, matter-of-fact tone. “I like having you around, hyung, and it was pretty hard to accept when I thought we weren’t going to be in Stray Kids together. Having you around gives me a sense of relief, because having you around makes me feel like I have someone I can turn to without being judged.”

The playfulness in his tone has been replaced by complete sincerity by the time he finishes speaking; it makes Jisung nervous, especially when he glances towards Minho and finds that the older is just quietly staring at the ceiling.

And then Minho is clearing his throat, and, “You sure about that?” He’s teasing again, implying that he can judge Jisung as much as he wants, but Jisung doesn't mind.

“Yes,” is what he confidently answers. “Our thought processes are the same, that’s how I know!”

Minho chortles. “I feel like I should be insulted by that somehow—”

“But you’re not because you know it's true—” Jisung declares, even childishly sticking his tongue out at Minho for effect.

Minho groans, and then he moves off his bed and onto Jisung’s so he can directly hit the latter with his pillow.

“Abuse!” Jisung calls out, half laughing, half coughing. “I call abuse!”

“Shut up—” Minho squeaks, laughing as he repeatedly hits Jisung’s stomach with a pillow.

“Hyung—! Hyung!” Jisung squirms and struggles, limbs flailing until he somehow manages to wrap both arms and legs around Minho. “I’m telling Chan-hyung on you the next time we have one of those heart to heart meetings!”

The previous week, Woojin has ordered boxes of chicken at midnight because he’d been feeling peckish, diet be damned. Somehow, it was a night when all of 3RACHA, even Chan, had been at home, and someone - Hyunjin, maybe, or Chan, Jisung isn’t sure - had the bright idea that they all sit down in the living room and eat together while unloading all their personal frustrations. It had seemed corny as an idea, especially at the time, and Jisung had kept cracking jokes at first - but then Hyunjin shed tears as he shared his genuine thoughts and feelings, and that had a domino effect on everyone else. Eventually, Jisung had admitted to his own frustrations - had admitted that he often didn’t feel seen or taken seriously by the other members. Minho had quietly sat next to him, holding his hand, while Chan and the others assured him that this wasn't the case. The memory makes him cringe, but at the same time, he has to admit that it was quite therapeutic. He supposes everyone else felt the same, because at the end, everyone - even Minho, who had mostly stayed silent, just nodding and observing and probably taking mental notes on everyone’s issues - had agreed that it would be good for them all of they did that kind of talk circle regularly.

“You gonna cry?” Minho teases, wiggling a bit in order to get Jisung to let go; when the smaller boy finally unwraps his limbs from around Minho, the latter simply collapses next to him, their shoulders touching.

“Yah! What’s wrong about crying!?” Jisung nudges Minho’s side, and then he lets out a quiet exhale. “Hyunjin cried so much at the last one.”

“Hyunjin cries a lot in general,” Minho muses.

“He’s sensitive,” Jisung points out. “It’s not a bad thing.”

Minho chuckles. “I didn’t say it is. It’s not a bad thing at all. Besides, you’re pretty sensitive, too.”

“Huh?”

“I can see through you, Jisung. Remember when you told me that we handle criticism similarly—?” Minho makes a soft, clicking sound with his tongue. “I know what people tell you matter a lot more to you than you let on. You do use the negativity to propel you forward, instead of letting it bog you down, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get affected at all. You get angry, instead of getting sad—” Minho chuckles. “Or you used, to. Not as much, anymore— I’ve been there, though.”

“Hyung—” Jisung’s breath hitches, and he allows his incomplete thought to just trail off as he shifts and rolls onto his side so that he’s facing Minho.

“Hm?”

Even without Minho blatantly admitting it, Jisung knows that the older boy feels the same; this is why he _knows_ he can count on Minho to understand him without him even having to say anything. They have a connection that’s hard to explain with words, but Jisung knows that it’s there because he constantly feels it in the way they interact and spend time together. It’s comfortable, and more than anything else, it helps propel Jisung forward - even more than all the anger and frustration that used to fuel him.

“Thank you,” he says, smiling softly, sweetly, as he hugs Minho’s arm close to his chest.

“Big baby,” Minho returns, laughing, teasing, but Jisung doesn’t mind because he’s pretty sure that’s just Minho-speak for _you’re welcome._

  
  
  


 

Sometimes, Jisung can’t help it when he stares off into space as Chan drones on, relaying plans that management has told him to discuss with the group.

He usually runs ideas past Changbin and him so by the time Chan talks to the whole team, Jisung has already heard most of what he has to say. Putting that into consideration, Jisung reasons he couldn’t be blamed if his attention is easily led astray.

“Jisungie—” Minho is suddenly whispering next to him, his soft voice unexpectedly yet easily pulling Jisung out of his lazy thoughts.

“Huh—?” He turns his head to face only to be surprised by how close Minho's face is to his own. They're practically nose to nose, with Minho's pretty mouth just a couple of centimetres away from his own. One false move, and they'd likely end up liplocked in front of all their bandmates. The proximity catches Jisung off-guard, and even though there’s a quick pause before he manages to react, he still ends up leaning away far too quickly that he almost falls back against Seungmin, who is seated on his other side, with a loud squawk. His reaction has Minho teetering with repressed laughter, and Chan hissing at both of them, clearly not pleased with either of their behavior.

“Jisung, Minho—!” Chan sternly calls out to them. “Is there anything important that you want to add to the conversation?” The sharp edge of his tone is somewhat softened by the exasperation that seeps through. Either way, he’s probably in the right to be ticked off anyway.

“No,” Jisung answers, sitting up straight and ducking his head sheepishly. “Sorry, hyung.” Beside him, Minho only shrugs in response, but just like Jisung, he’s also pulled himself upright.

Chan immediately goes back to talking about whatever it was he was talking about - their first comeback is coming up, so he has a lot of messages that he’s relaying to them from management. Jisung wants to relax, but he can’t because his cheeks and his _ears_ still feel warm from whatever that was Minho tried to pull earlier.

What’s funny is that this isn’t even the first time that the older male has done that; if Jisung were to hazard a guess, he’d say that Minho loves shoving his face close to Jisung’s, loves _encroaching on his personal space_ because it makes Jisung visibly flustered. It’s frustrating, really, especially since Jisung’s heart starts beating erratically every time Minho does it, but what’s even more annoying - or rather, what’s annoyingly perturbing is how Jisung doesn’t hate it when Minho does it, at all.

He thinks maybe it’s a game; Minho is playing with him, and all he has to do is figure out how to beat Minho at it. It’s confusing, but he’ll figure out the rules soon enough because that’s just how Jisung is.

The weight of Minho’s head is suddenly resting on his shoulder, and just like that, his heart rate speeds up again. He swallows quietly, only to realise that Chan has finally adjourned the meeting.

“Hey—” Hyunjin is looking at him and Minho, hand waving in front of Jisung’s face; he wonders how long the taller boy has been trying to get his attention. “Do the two of you want anything from the vending machine down the hall?”

“Cider,” Jisung answers, (unsurprisingly) in unison with Minho who lifts his head off of Jisung’s shoulders.

“Thanks Hyunjin,” Minho chirps, a little too cheerfully for a person who is somewhat injured. And then, once Hyunjin has left the room with Jeongin to get drinks for everyone, while all the other members have busied themselves with other things like stretching in pairs, he turns to Jisung. “Want some help stretching?”

The question has Jisung frowning, and instead of answering, he responds with a question of his own, “How’s your ankle feeling?”

It’s been a week since Minho had his unfortunate fall at the rehearsal for a Music Bank special. He’d landed on his feet wrong after a jump in the choreography, and the doctor has instructed him to take it easy for a week or two.

“That’s the third time you’ve asked today alone, Jisung,” Minho points out, chuckling and shaking his head. “It’s fine! It’s healing well— I’m seeing the doctor again tomorrow, and I’m sure he’ll tell me that I’d be good to go by the time we have to film the music video next week. So don’t you worry your annoyingly cute face about it.” He gently flicks Jisung’s bottom lip with his finger, and this is how Jisung realises that it had been curved downwards in a pout.

He reacts to this with a huff, because he can’t help but worry, anyway. He tells himself that he’d probably be as affected, even if it was someone else on the team not Minho. “Yeah, well, if I were you I’d be using this as an excuse to stay at home and take it easy!”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Minho answers calmly, _knowingly,_ and Jisung can only sigh because they both know Minho is right. If he were the injured party, he’d likely be even more stubborn than Minho. “So— stretching?”

Jisung sighs. “Okay, but not yet—” He swings one arm around Minho’s shoulders and scoots over as close as he can. He stretches his legs out in front of him, and then he beams at Minho. “We can—” he’s about to say they can stretch their toes first, but something cold is suddenly pressed against the back of his neck, causing him to let out a loud and high-pitched, surprised yelp.

“What the f—?!”

Snickering, Seungmin hands him and Minho a can of cider each. “The two of you were looking annoyingly snug,” he comments; Jisung glowers at him, but Minho actually _laughs._ “Next time just get a damn room.”

  
  
  


 

Starting from when the physical copies of Mixtape were published, it has become customary for Chan to bring in a few copies of their albums to the practice room as soon as the first press is out. It’s late evening when he does this for ‘I Am WHO,’ but everyone is gathered anyway because their comeback showcase is only a couple of days away, which meant they’ve mostly been holed up in their practice room all day, everyday, for the past week.

“Break time!” Chan announces, a wide grin spread across his face as he shows everyone the copies he has with him.

Jisung and Changbin, who had been breaking down a particular rap verse together before Chan arrived, end up perusing the same copy together. Everyone is collectively oohing and aahing at the photobook, and even teasing each other about the pictures that made the final cut.

As usual, Jisung ends up lingering on Minho’s page longer than he does on everyone else’s; he doesn’t even really notice that he’s doing, not until Changbin nudges him to get his attention. Flustered, he assumes its because the older wants to flip to the next page already, so he moves to do just that, except Changbin stops him by pointing at something on Minho’s page.

“Huh—?” It takes a second for Jisung to realise that Changbin is pointing at his blurb for Minho. “Father of cats?” He laughs, all excited as he gives Changbin a hearty nod. “Hyung! Don’t you remember? They were on Minho-hyung’s pages last album, even— he has two of them, Soonie and Doongie—” At this point, Jisung can practically consider himself an expert on Minho’s pets. Every time the older boy receives an update on them from his mother, he either forwards them to Jisung immediately, or he just shows them to him on his phone because they’re already together. Jisung is all set to relay the history of the cats to Changbin, only to stop short when he realizes that Changbin is giving him a strange look.

“That’s not what I meant,” Changbin says with a snort and a shake of his head; he taps on the page again, and Jisung finally figures out that Changbin was specifically pointing at the line where Jisung says that he matches with Minho very well.

It’s a simple (and pretty factual) line; even a few of the other members have made passing comments before about how he and Minho have a lot in common. Yet, in that moment, with Changbin taking the opportunity to spotlight his personal words about Minho, Jisung feels shy.

“What about it?” He mumbles, pushing Changbin’s hand away from the page so he can finally turn to the next one.

“Nothing.” But it’s clearly not _nothing_ because Changbin is snickering. “I guess the two of you really match well, because he pretty much wrote the same thing about you,” he adds, taking over and flipping through pages until they land on Jisung’s face. “See?” This time, he gestures at the blurb Minho has written for Jisung. “I was there when he turned his blurb in.”

He can only laugh, even as warmth spreads across his cheeks. Truthfully, he’s mentioned it to Minho before; he doesn’t recall where they were, or what they were doing - having a quick dinner somewhere, maybe, in between practice sessions, or maybe it was during one of their usual convenience store runs. He only remembers saying it out loud, because it was in his thoughts, and most of the time, when Jisung is with Minho, and something comes to mind, he doesn’t really bother with his brain to mouth filter.

“We match very, very well, don’t you think?”

Minho had looked at him, partly surprised, partly confused, partly amused, and partly something else that until now Jisung can’t fully figure out what.

“Do we, really?” was all Minho had to say in return.

Jisung had gone on - enthusiastically nodding and going on about how he really does think they fit pretty well despite Minho’s calm and almost lukewarm reaction. He didn’t stop because despite Minho’s words (or lack thereof), the older had maintained an amused smile throughout the entire conversation, and now,

_—since we match so well in a lot of things, I really like it._

These are Minho’s words, now immortalized in print, and Jisung can’t help the wide grin that spreads across his cheeks.

“Geez,” Changbin snorts. “Is it really _that_ big a deal?” He’s teasing, and maybe implying something. It’s in his tone, but at that moment Jisung can’t be bothered to try and figure out what that is.

“Whatever, hyung,” he huffs, punctuating his sentence with his tongue out at Changbin like an overgrown child simply wanting to have the last word.

  
  
  


 

“Hyung, do you believe in soulmates?” Jisung asked Minho this once; as usual, The older’s initial reaction had been a blank stare.

“Well, that depends,” he eventually answered. “How do you define soulmates?”

The return inquiry had Jisung pausing to give it a lot of thought; he’d been bored the previous night, and somehow he had ended up reading a lot on the idea of soulmates. As a concept, it was quite poetic, and he’d stored away some of the knowledge he’d learned, in case they’re one day useful for lyrics.

Hanging out with Minho, for some reason, had made thoughts on the topic resurface.

“Well— different people have different takes on it, I guess,” He shared. “Some people say there are different types of soulmates. Some people say you can have more than one.”

Minho had simply let out a lighthearted chuckle. “That’s why I’m asking for _your_ take, Jisungie.”

“I— I guess I like the idea of having someone you really connect to. That you can find a person who makes you feel so right about yourself, that when you’re together, it’s almost like you’re one and the same. Like together, you’re complete.”

Minho had shrugged in response, like he needed more time to think about it, and that had been that. Jisung didn’t think much of it until the memory easily flashes in his head after he films his Two Kids Room segment (another bright idea from management - to showcase the members’ individual chemistry, they said; Jisung actually kind of likes the idea) with Minho, and he has to quickly write him a letter.

Writing one certainly felt awkward; that isn’t the type of friends he and Minho are. They don't write letters and they don’t openly express affection - at least not with words. Mostly because Minho never does, so Jisung takes his lead. It’s easy, because even when Minho doesn’t say anything, Jisung understands him anyway.

The problem is now he has to actually _use_ words, because this little video is more for their fans than for each other. He wants to be sincere, but he isn’t sure how - he tries to recall what he and Minho just talked about, except they’d treated filming like any other day which mean they’d simply jumped from topic to topic, getting naturally playful at times. Jisung had fun, but that kind of natural ease didn’t really help him feel less awkward about having to come up with something sweet, but short, to write for Minho. And then he recalls that trot song that was playing at Ministop the day before, when the two of them were there to buy some chicken skewers, and he recalls silently thinking to himself that the song made an appropriate BGM for them, all things considered.

 _You’re my life partner,_ he writes, borrowing from the lyrics of the song; and then he  suddenly recalls the conversation with Minho about soulmates. _Will you be my soulmate in the future, too?_ He adds, not giving much thought to what he’s writing, or any implication or assumption that might be gleaned from it. This is for Minho, so as usual, Jisung assumes that whatever he means will be properly conveyed.

Even after he reads Minho’s letter response - _quit quit quit_ \- he only laughs because as usual he knows that’s not what Minho really means. Wooyoung’s song even plays immediately in his head, and when he sees Minho after that, he sings the song’s chorus loudly and obnoxiously to his face. He gets a groan and a half in response, coupled with a five-second long glare right before Minho breaks into song together with him.

Minho’s never been good with words, but Jisung feels like he understands him anyway, the same way he’s always assumed that Minho understands him.

  
  
  


 

Jisung’s thoughts have always had a way of jumping around all over the place; he doesn’t get it himself, but he doesn’t allow himself to be bothered by it either. It’s not until a week after they’d filmed for Two Kids Room, not until after they’d held their comeback showcase, that the conversations he had with Minho in that little blue and green room come back and settle with him.

It’s late in the evening, and he’s just scrolling through his phone, reading an update of a webtoon that Jeongin recently recommended to him when he hears Hyunjin, from the bottom bunk, suddenly start softly humming the opening tune to 2PM’s _Heartbeat._

Without much thought, Jisung starts humming along, even breaking out into Chansung’s rap part.

_“Why do I keep doing such foolish things? I know in my head but why does my heart keep rebelling—”_

He suddenly lets out a laugh halfway through the line, and he puts his phone down. From across the room, on his bed, he catches Seungmin give him a weird look.

“What’s funny?” Hyunjin asks, peering at him from below.

“Nothing,” he answers, because he doesn’t really know either. He just remembers laughing with Minho the last time this particular song was in his head. “Nothing,” he repeats, and he picks his phone up again.

Except, his brain has just done that jumping around thing again, and this time he flashes right back to the particular conversation he and Minho were having right before they’d both started reciting the lyrics to a 2PM song.

 _Shit,_ he thinks, because Minho’s question from that time suddenly seems less confusing.

_But in what way do you like me?_

Jisung had been caught up in his thoughts about that day’s dinner, Seungmin’s nagging about his cleaning habits, and the concept of soulmates. Between those jumble of thoughts, and the natural ease he feels around Minho, he hadn’t really delved into the older’s seemingly joking inquiry.

But now the words are looping in his head, forcing him to deal with it and come up with an answer.

And then he realises he’s stupid, because the answer has been obvious all along - what idiot thinks of writing to his teammate, _you’re my life partner?_

 _Fuck,_ he thinks, because just like that it dawns on him. He likes Minho.

He _likes_ likes Minho.

 _Shit,_ because it might even be more than that because he likes Minho in the way that makes him feel safe, comfortable - in a way that makes him feel seen, and heard. He likes Minho in the way that the thought of losing him had made him both sad and angry, and he likes Minho in a way that calms him down whenever the going gets too tough. He likes Minho in a way that makes him want to be with him all the time, and in a way that makes him proud whenever Minho laughs or smiles because of him. He likes him in a way that makes his heart feel full just by being together.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck—_

All things considered, he thinks he might just be in love with Minho.

_— fuck._

  
  
  
  


 

_tbc._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ 7 ] [This is a JAWS bar](https://imgur.com/a/73BYGXT) (Pictures not mine)
> 
> [ 8 ] [Here is the first page for Minho’s section on the I Am WHO photo booklet](https://twitter.com/stray9kids/status/1026735211269083136), together with translations. [Here is Jisung’s](https://twitter.com/stray9kids/status/1026759974481870848). They’re so f*cking cute with their whole WE MATCH WELL schtick ;;
> 
> [ 9 ] Minsung’s 2KR is probably what I reference the most, so [here is the link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbntPEr7I9c) if you want to see it again. And [here are the undisclosed clips from that season](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4TvZEitC-0&t=389s), because that’s important too. Can’t really make up half the shit Minho and Jisung say to each other and do together, lmao.


	2. Lee Minho

 

 

— ⁜ —

  
  
  


 

The first time Minho met Jisung, the latter had stared - no, _glared_ at him so hard that Minho was quite taken aback. He'd wondered if he's ever met this boy before, unknowingly, and he'd done some unsavory act that angered the other without Minho realising.

And so Minho did his best to be polite; he couldn't apologise because he had no idea if he really did anything wrong, but he figured if he showed his best side, then the boy would forgive him for whatever it is. If there even _is_ something. But then Jisung had told him - “no need to be so polite,” and, well, if you tell Minho something like that, then he's going to take your words at face value.

“Sorry, Jisung can be a little intense,” he remembers Seungmin whispering to him, after their initial introduction. Minho didn't understand at the time why this needed clarification - Jisung was a trainee in one of the biggest entertainment agencies in the country, wouldn't it be a given that he would be at least a little intense?

If you’d told Minho at the time that he’d find himself completely attached to the strangely intense boy with the round cheeks, just barely a year later, well—

Actually, he would have probably believed you anyway.

He wouldn’t have been able to explain why the idea was so believable; maybe there was just something about Jisung’s eyes and the way they looked at Minho once he got over the hostility of the glare - like he was seeing something of great interest to him. Minho isn’t convinced it’s just that, though. He knows he’s good looking enough to gather interested looks from anyone and anywhere, and he knows he acts strangely enough to earn curious looks from everyone and everywhere.

If he’s to be honest, it probably had a lot to do with how _he_ saw Jisung. The boy was cute, certainly, even if he _did_ look like he was ready to throw a tantrum that first time Minho met him. But more than that, it was the _feeling_ he had at the time. Inexplicably warm and curious, and exactly like he'd just met someone who was going to create an indelible mark in his life.

  
  
  


 

“Hyuuuuuuuung—” Jisung whines as he falls on top of Minho, who is sprawled across the wooden floors of their practice room. _My Pace_ is a highly energetic song, and even just a couple of run throughs is enough to render the entire team breathless.

“Move,” Minho grunts, even though he doesn’t exactly push Jisung off either. “You’re heavy.”

“Noooo—” Jisung counters, pushing his weight down and even slightly wriggling on top of him. “Hyung, you’re blowing up again—must be all that spicy food you’ve been eating recently. All the extra padding is making you comfortable, though.”

“Yah.” The teasing barely affects Minho, but he reacts anyway, because he knows Jisung wants him too. “Yah—” he repeats, squirming in an attempt to roll onto his back despite Jisung being on top of him. It doesn't work, and Jisung instead manages to latch onto him tighter, arms and legs wrapping around him in a koala hold.

“Pillow hyung!” He declares, laughing; and then, softer, but still teasing, “Piggy hyung!” He adds, just as Changbin approaches them, a bottle of water in each hand.

“Who’s Piggy?” He asks as he lowers himself down on the floor to sit in front of them; Minho, meanwhile, is still wiggling around in a half-assed attempt to shake Jisung off.

“Not it,” Minho answers, at the exact same time that Jisung declares, “Minho-hyung is!”

Changbin laughs and offers one of the water bottles to them; with a grunt, Minho finally gathers enough strength and energy to sit up, in the process almost making Jisung topple backwards.

“Hyung—!” His whiny squeak echoes around the practice room, but apart from Changbin laughing, no one else takes heed - likely because they’re all too used to Jisung’s - and in effect, Minho’s - antics at this point.

Minho takes the water bottle from Changbin, and as he unscrews the cap, he feels Jisung’s limbs circling around him again, resuming his koala hold, except now in a sitting position. Changbin lifts a knowing eyebrow, but Minho ignores it - it’s not like skinship is particularly new or special between him and Jisung, or even the other members of the group.

He takes a gulp of water from the bottle, and when he’s done, Jisung takes it from him so he can do the same, downing the rest of the liquid content in one go.

“Indirect kiss,” Changbin retorts childishly, a teasing glint visible in his eyes.

Minho’s eyes narrow at him, and he’s about to shoot back with a dry comment, when Jisung suddenly leans forward and pushes his face up against the side of Minho’s face, lips practically brushing against the corner of Minho’s. It catches him completely off-guard, and the moment he feels Jisung’s breath against his cheek, he naturally moves his head away.

“What the—!”

Changbin is already laughing, while Jisung has a smug grin painted on his face. He still has arms wrapped around Minho, and all in all, the situation has Minho feeling a blush creep up his cheeks. He doesn’t understand how or when Jisung’s become this bold and he kinda misses when it was the other way around - when _he_ knew how to push Jisung's buttons to get _him_ flustered.

“Jisung—!” Chan is calling out to the younger boy before Minho can collect himself enough to give both Jisung and Changbin a more calculated reaction. And then Jisung is pulling away and getting up so he can waddle over to Chan for whatever it is the leader needs from him.

Minho’s back feels incredibly lonely, just like that.

“Hmm.” Changbin tilts his head, lips curving into a smirk when Minho’s eyes meet his. “Kinda sucks to be on the receiving end of your own bullshit, doesn’t it, hyung?”

Minho fixes what he hopes can be described as a piercing glare on Changbin, but the latter only laughs it off. “Fuck off,” he grumbles, when that doesn’t work, clicking his tongue as he moves to lightly hit Changbin on the head with the now empty plastic bottle.

“Yeah—” Changbin wrinkles his nose and rubs his head. “Love you too, hyung.”

Changbin’s expression at least makes him snort, and soon the two of them are laughing together. He still isn’t entirely comfortable with the implications of the rapper’s words from earlier, but for now he’s choosing to pointedly ignore them. Changbin knows better than to keep pushing for now, at least, which he can appreciate.

“Come on—” He reaches out and tickles Changbin’s chin before pulling himself up. “We have to do a few run throughs of _Awkward Silence_ next.”

  
  
  


 

When Minho had asked Jisung what he has since dubbed in his mind as The Hundred Million Won Question _(“So, you like me—but in what way do you like me?”),_ he wasn’t really thinking clearly.

He had gotten so used to having Jisung’s presence around, so used to having Jisung easily reciprocate banter and conversation with him that he’s completely forgotten to watch what he says around the younger boy. Which isn’t exactly a good thing, considering that they have cameras in their faces more than half the time.

Well, considering that _and_ Minho’s burgeoning crush on Jisung. ‘Burgeoning’ isn’t even really accurate at this point - it was _burgeoning_ several months ago, maybe, around the time of their debut. Now it’s really more a Full-Blown, Full-Fledged Crush, and it’s more than enough reason for him to be more mindful of what he says to and how he acts around Jisung, especially when there are cameras involved.

At least when it’s the two of them and he naturally slips up - naturally _flirts_ \- he can easily chalk it up to being playful. That’s always been his dynamic with Jisung anyway - loud and playful. Besides, it’s the only outlet he has with regards to acting on his feelings - if he were to stop teasing Jisung, he thinks he’d probably combust.

Jisung’s pretty innocent anyway; he’s completely oblivious which adds to both Minho’s frustration _and_ amusement.

It’s amusing, because Minho loves to see how far he can get away with teasing Jisung. He loves to see the younger boy get flustered whenever he gets too close, or whenever he pulls out an unexpected compliment.

But it’s also frustrating because more often than not, he never knows what to make of Jisung’s reactions. The younger male has proclaimed more than once that he and Minho match very well; this observation has also been confirmed by the other members several times, and Minho supposes he can concede that there is enough truth in it. More than enough, even, because he and Jisung really do get along famously. They can talk about anything and they’ve easily engaged in everything, from silly debates such as _who is the better anime hero, Luffy or Naruto?_ to more serious conversations, like that time Jisung shared, in great, painstaking detail, how lonely and alienated he had felt the first time he had moved to Seoul from Malaysia, or like that time when Minho told Jisung about when he’d almost given up on becoming anything more than a background dancer. It all comes so naturally for the two of them, sharing with each other, yet despite all that, at the end of the day, Minho can’t read Jisung the way he wants to.

Granted, there have been moments that made Minho hope, moments when Jisung had made it feel like the feelings in Minho’s chest that have been steadily growing since they first met, are completely reciprocated. He often catches Jisung staring at him, and the way his cute hamster cheeks always turn red when their eyes meet is not only adorable, but quite telling. But then Jisung slides up to him, easy and casual, and gives him affection like it’s no big deal - like it’s nothing special, and Minho has to remind himself that at most, Jisung simply sees him as an older brother figure he respects and admires.

He also has to remind himself that as far as he knows, Jisung is exclusively interested in girls. Not that he has a lot to say about female idols, or girls in general, especially recently, but Minho just chalks the disinterest up to stress. Considering their packed schedules, none of them really have the time or luxury to be griping about romance. (Another reason why the whole Jisung thing frustrates Minho - his time could be better spent on honing his skills, instead of overthinking his sad crush on his teammate.)

Jisung _has_ talked about previous crushes though - one time he told Minho about a girl in Malaysia from when he was in 5th grade. He gave her a flower he picked from the school field - which, according to Jisung, in retrospect, he thinks was probably a weed - and then they'd proceeded to consistently hold hands for all of three days, before some sixth grader started showing interest in her which led to them ‘breaking up.’ It was a cute and funny story that made Minho want to buy flowers for Jisung just so he can hold _his_ hand for three days, but in front of Jisung, he’d only proceeded to laugh and coo at poor Baby Hannie’s broken heart. He’d also been told about a former trainee who ended up becoming Jisung’s first kiss - it happened way back during his first few months with the company, and they’d never really made things official. She’d long since left, apparently, and Minho thinks that's a good thing because his unreasonable petty side would probably burn with jealousy if he constantly saw her around because, well, _imagine being Han Jisung’s first kiss._

Jisung has never hinted at being attracted to guys before, but Minho can't exactly fault him for that. Despite their inherent connection, Minho himself hasn't been very forthcoming about his own sexuality. He doesn't believe that Jisung will judge him for it, but he also doesn't want to take the chance that awareness of his sexuality will lead to awareness of his feelings for the younger boy.

Overall, this confusion about the way Jisung sees him has been at the forefront of Minho’s thoughts, and this fact, mixed with the unthinking ease he feels around Jisung, is what leads him to ask The Question while they're in the middle of filming.

“Huh?” The genuine and innocent confusion on Jisung’s face should have been expected, and yet, it surprises Minho how it was enough to make him feel a certain kind of tightening in his chest. “In what way am I supposed to like you?”

 _You're an idiot, Lee Minho,_ he thought to himself because Jisung is right to be perturbed. There was only one way that he's supposed to like Minho, and that's in the friend-slash-teammate-slash-older-brother way.

“Nothing—” It had taken all of Minho’s focus to be able to produce laughter that didn't make it sound like something's breaking in his chest. He tried to make a joke out of his own inquiry instead, lyrics to an old 2PM song awkwardly tumbling off his lips.

He was lucky that Jisung didn't catch on then, just laughing as he recited lyrics with Minho. That little moment had segued into the two of them quoting random lyrics for the next five minutes, until the manager signaled for them to move on already, and they instead ended up laughing some more.

Still, that was the day when Minho decided - he really should be more mindful around Jisung.

  
  
  


 

It’s one of those rare days when schedules are a bit lax - at least for Minho. They _do_ have some recording scheduled later that evening but 3RACHA have been at the company studios since early that morning, already working on music for their next album when they’re barely finished with their current round of promotions, while Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin were off actually attending school for once. And so, with his teammates all busy, he figures he doesn’t have the right to slack off so he gets ready to head to the company for some self-study.

“Hey, you want to go get lunch together before heading to the company?” Woojin asks him after he emerges from the bathroom, fresh from a quick shower. “I was going to ask for your help with some choreography, anyway.”

“Yongbok too?” He asks, even though he hasn’t really felt the bubbly Australian’s presence in the dorm since he’d woken up less than an hour ago.

“He’s got language tutorials all morning,” Woojin informs him. “We’ll probably see him at the company building when we get there, though.”

“Oh—” Minho nods and grins. “Yeah, sure, hyung—just give me a quick minute to get dressed.”

Minho feels like he’s been getting especially closer to Woojin recently, so truthfully, he’s quick to jump at the opportunity to have lunch, just the two of them. Granted, they’ve _always_ gotten along, because Woojin is Woojin, and he’s always been pretty warm and accommodating to everyone. They’ve also been roommates for as long as Stray Kids have been dorming together, and their habits are pretty complementary, so there’s never been any reason for them to butt heads.

The difference now, however, is that Minho finally feels like Woojin is starting to get him, as opposed to just a few months ago, when he sometimes felt like an actual alien in the older male’s eyes.

It’s not as if it’s a bad thing, per se. All his life, people had found him strange; most of them told him straight up, too — _you’re weird,_ or, _I don’t get you._ But most of them are quick to clarify that they don’t mean it negatively. Minho makes them laugh, they say. Minho makes their lives interesting.

His teammates are no different. Jeongin, especially, sometimes looks at Minho like he’s literally just walked off an unidentified spacecraft. But Minho is who he is, and he can’t change that, nor does he want to try. A lot of the time, the others tease him for being so unabashed and straightforward - for easily settling in with the team, and for quickly dropping formalities. Minho just laughs because that’s simply how he makes friends, and he figures it’s worked for him all his life, and it still works because even though the other members still obviously don’t completely understand him, his straightforward mannerisms have clearly helped him carve his place in the group.

(“I don’t think anyone else would have fit in so well, and so easily,” Jisung told him once. Minho had just laughed, even though deep inside, he felt like beaming with pride at the younger’s words. Jisung has _always_ understood him, at least. He’d never looked at Minho any differently - he’d always just accepted Minho for who he is, always just understood how he is. One day, Minho thinks, maybe he’ll tell Jisung that he wouldn’t have fit in so well if _he_ hadn’t made him immediately feel like he belonged.)

“You’re lost in your own head,” Woojin observes loudly, in the process snapping Minho back to attention.

In the end, they’d chosen to just get lunch at the new JYPE cafeteria. Neither of them were craving for anything more specific, and at least they still had enough meal stubs so they can eat for free there.

“Yeah, it's a maze in there,” he retorts with a chuckle, only to get a curious look from Woojin in turn. “What—” he starts, but his chuckling slowly evolves into chortling, and soon, even Woojin is laughing while he shakes his head at Minho.

“Hey, Minho—” Woojin clicks his tongue, and inhales deeply to calm down once their collective laughter tapers off. “You know I meant it when I said we should talk more, right?”

“You think we don’t talk enough, hyung?” Minho asks, eyes sparkling with mischief because just the other night, he’d regaled Woojin for at least an hour about the little known statistic that cats actually lowers a person’s chances of getting a stroke.

The older male obviously didn’t care, and when Minho had broached the original topic, he’d looked like he wasn’t sure if Minho was serious about the conversation he’d just started. But Woojin listened anyway, chuckling, even, at all the appropriate parts, because Woojin is a good listener, a good companion, and Minho likes that a lot about him.

(He knows it would have probably been better if he shared the information with Jisung instead, because _he_ would definitely have gotten a genuine kick out of it. Truth be told, he was the first one Minho had thought about when he randomly came across the information online, but Jisung had been out with Hyunjin and Seungmin, and Woojin was the one who was there at the time. Besides, he figures it's better for him not to expect Jisung to be on the listening end of his feline-related rants all the time, anyway.)

Woojin snorts, unbothered by Minho’s teasing tone. “I guess we do talk enough,” he muses. “But I do hope you know that you’re free to talk to me about more than random cat trivia. We live together, so I notice you and, well—I feel like something’s been bothering you recently, is all.”

The corner of Minho’s lips twitch; it feels awkward knowing that Woojin has seen right through him. He isn’t used to people doing that, and he has no idea how to react. Being an only child, he’s never been good at leaning at others for support - Woojin makes the idea seem appealing, though.

“Okay, hyung, but did you know that when a cat starts rubbing against you, it means they’re marking you as their territory—?”

His awkward side wins out, and the first thing that’s out of his mouth is some other random cat fact that he apparently has stored in his brain.

“Minho—” Woojin sounds mildly exasperated, but a chuckle escapes his throat anyway.

“I’m kidding, hyung,” Minho says, giggling quietly as he returns his attention back on his food, spoon mixing the rice in his bowl for no good reason. “Not about cats—they really do that. But—” He sighs, and then he flashes a half-nervous smile at Woojin. “If something’s bothering me, I’ll come to you, hyung. Thank you.”

  
  
  


 

“Who are you messaging, hyung?” Jisung asks.

He says it directly into Minho’s ear, so close that his warm breath actually tickles and makes Minho flinch.

“No one you know,” he answers, deadpan as he tilts the phone away from Jisung’s line of sight.

“No fair—!” Jisung pouts, moving to try and catch a glimpse of the screen anyway until Minho gives up and just leans back in his seat, finally allowing Jisung a view of his phone.

“It really _is_ no one you know,” he reiterates, quickly hitting send on the message he just typed before tabbing out of his KaTalk app, ensuring that Jisung barely catches a glimpse of the actual conversation he was having. “It’s one of my hyungs from my old dance team,” he explains anyway, because Jisung is giving him a look of pure curiosity. “He’s telling me that they’re making plans to meet up next weekend—he’s enlisting next month.”

“Oh!” Jisung nods in understanding, and finally just takes the empty seat next to Minho. “You going?”

Minho shakes his head, taking one last look at his phone screen before locking it and pocketing it. “We’re gonna be in Berlin then, remember?”

“Oh! Yeah—” Jisung nods slowly. “If we weren’t in Berlin—would you go?”

“Hmm. Probably still wouldn’t be able to. If it wasn’t Berlin, I’m sure we’d have something else on the schedule.”

“What about if there was nothing, though? What about then?”

Minho snorts, because he can easily see where Jisung is going with this. He wishes he _could_ go, because this hyung is very important to him, and he thinks it would be nice to see him before he goes off and performs his mandatory duty to the country. This hyung - Kang Jaeseok - was someone who had helped him a lot when he had a lot of doubts about himself, and these days, he thinks maybe he could use this person’s advice once more.

But then again—

“Probably not,” he admits. “That’s your birthday weekend,” he says, matter-of-fact. The wide grin that quickly spreads on Jisung’s face is almost contagious, and Minho has to bite the inside of his cheek so he doesn't mirror the younger boy’s expression. “And Yongbok’s,” he adds instead. “It’s Yongbokie’s birthday weekend too.”

Jisung keeps grinning anyway as he brings his legs up on the couch to gather against his chest. “Don’t forget to buy me a gift, hyung—”

Minho snorts. “Maybe I’ll give you the gift of my undivided attention,” he comments, coming up with the first thing that doesn't require him to shell out cash, and not really thinking about his words when he’s distracted by the feeling of his phone buzzing and vibrating against his thigh.

He takes it out, and when he looks up again, he’s met with Jisung’s big, round eyes staring at him with eager intensity. “I’ll take it!”

He blinks slowly, taken aback by not only how close Jisung suddenly is, but also by how sincere Jisung’s answer is to his thoughtless joke. The younger’s mouth curve into a wide, heart-shaped grin, his adorably crooked teeth on display, and Minho feels his heart drop to his stomach.

Suddenly, it's funny that Jaeseok in particular, is the one messaging him now, because the most vivid advice he’s ever given Minho in this past was ‘don’t shit where you eat.’ It happened right before BTS’ tour in Japan, when one of the other dancers had made it known to Minho that he was attracted to him.

Originally, he hadn’t been particularly into that other person, but it was also the first time another _male_ had expressed blatant interest in him, and Minho, who had been grappling with his own sexuality since late high school, had admittedly been tempted.

“Bad idea,” Jaeseok had told him; he was the first person Minho had ever come out to, and he supposes that said a lot about how much Minho valued his opinion. “It’s going to be complicated enough that you’re both guys, but if this goes sideways, this is going to throw off the entire crew’s chemistry, yeah?” And put that way, it made complete sense to Minho. “We’re young, and we should be allowed to have fun and fuck around, but don’t do it where you work, Minho. Don’t shit where you eat, because trust me, you’ll end up regretting it.”

He wonders what his hyung would say if he finds out about Jisung. He reckons he’d simply get round two of the same talk - it was, and still _is,_ after all, quite sound advice.

“Hyung—?” Jisung’s face is even closer now, and that manages to pull Minho completely out of his thoughts and back to reality.

“Too bad,” he answers, practically getting whiplash with how fast he turns his head away from the younger male. “Already got you bath bombs,” he adds, ruining his own birthday gift surprise and trying to sound casual amidst the din of his own heart beating quite loudly.

It was easier when Jisung was the one easily flustered, when Minho was in control, and Jisung was young, naive and completely oblivious. He wonders if Jisung is more aware now, if he knows the kind of effect he has on Minho, and that’s why he keeps provoking, trying to see which buttons will drive Minho to the brink.

Or, he wonders if Jisung is still completely innocent and unaware, if he really has no idea that Minho is hyperaware of every single thing he does, and he just keeps pushing because it’s all trivial play time to him.

“Oh.” Jisung continues to smile even as he leans away from Minho. “I’ll take that, too!”

As he tries to ignore the consistently loud pounding of his heart against his chest - all because of Jisung’s goddamn smile - the only conclusion that Minho comes to is that he actually isn’t sure which would be worse.

  
  
  


 

Minho successfully finds the time to meet with Jaeseok when the holidays come around. They don't get to spend long together, but Minho supposes a couple of hours can be considered a lot when the alternative is not meeting up at all.

Mostly, they reminisce about the months they spent together. Jaeseok also shares some apprehensions going into enlistment, but never finds the opportunity (or the courage) to bring Jisung up. Just as well, he thinks, because it’s clear that he isn’t really ready to acknowledge his own feelings out loud.

Before they separate, Jaeseok tells him he’s proud of Minho, and happy that he’s doing well for himself.

“Next time maybe I’ll end up dancing backup for Stray Kids when you guys are on tour,” he even jokes; Minho laughs but the idea is actually quite appealing to him. “Some of those members are pretty cute,” Jaeseok adds, trying to sound nonchalant, but Minho knows him well enough to notice that the tone is calculated.

“Yeah,” he agrees, choosing to ignore whatever Jaeseok seems to be fishing for. “We’re clearly a group full of visuals,” he declares, laughing to make it obvious that he’s just blowing hot air.

“You being careful there?” There’s genuine worry and concern there, which actually touches Minho where it counts.

“Yeah, hyung, don’t worry,” Minho assures the older; he isn’t exactly lying. Sure, he’s dumb enough to develop a massively hopeless crush on one of his teammates, but he _was_ being careful _._ “I’m focusing on work.”

And he is, really. Every day he makes a conscious effort to push his feelings down and so far, he can argue that’s worked out just fine for the most part. He might get distracted every now and then, but each day that passes without him word-vomiting a confession is counted as a win in his mind.

When he gets home, his mother is in the middle of preparing a dinner feast. He’d offer to help, but his mother always spoils him silly when he stays with them. “You left to be on your own so early,” is her reasoning, “but when you’re home, you're still my baby boy.” It’s silly, but Minho doesn’t argue because it _does_ feel nice not to be saddled with responsibility every now and then.

As an only child, he’s stuck playing with his cats instead. Time passes quickly, and by the time his mother is calling for him and his father to have dinner, he’s taken maybe about a hundred pictures of Soonie and Doongie.

He briefly hesitates sending Jisung one particular photograph before he heads to the dining area, but he reasons that Doongie stretching on his back, stomach adorably exposed, is too cute and funny not to share. He compromises by sending it to the Stray Kids group chat instead, and then he puts his phone away so he can have dinner with his family in peace.

He comes back with several message notifications displayed on his phone screen. A couple are from the Stray Kids chat, one from Felix calling Doongie “cute♡” and another from Hyunjin who sent an attachment of a picture of his dog sleeping. Minho feels challenged, and quickly sends an old picture of his cats cuddling in their sleep, and then he tabs to Jisung’s message tab which also had unread notifications.

 **한지성:**   
hyung! that’s a new picture of doongie right?

Despite himself, he can't help but crack a smile at the fact that Jisung went out of his way to open their personal message tab to comment on his cat, instead of just answering in the group chat.

 **한지성:**   
do u have any more new ones? it's boring here at the dorm…

Minho chuckles to himself; he figures if Jisung is asking for cat pictures then he shouldn't begrudge him. He's about to click on his gallery so he can pick and choose ones to send when the tell tale three dots appear on screen, blinking to inform him that Jisung is typing something else.

 **한지성:**   
miss u hyung. it's empty and quiet in here.

Minho knits his brow, because even the simplicity of Jisung's words are enough to tug at his heart.

 **나:**   
isn't chan-hyung there with u?

 **한지성:**   
we went shopping earlier. he's at the studio now   
i was with him too, earlier, but i was falling asleep so he sent me home.  
how's ur family?  
wat time r u getting back tomorrow? ㅠㅠ

He sighs to himself; it's hard to hold back his own smile because he can imagine Jisung, tossing and turning on his bed because he's bored, and Minho can't help but find the image he's formed in his head endearing.

 **나:**   
not sure yet

He almost types “I miss you too,” because he really does, and they should be harmless enough - after all it isn't highly abnormal to miss a teammate whose company you enjoy dearly. Somehow, though, in that moment, it felt like a dangerous admittance. Instead, he sends a handful of pictures of his cats, figuring they're enough to distract and entertain Jisung, at least.

 **한지성:**   
they're so cute ㅠㅠ  
i wish i could play with them too ㅠㅠ

Jisung sharing this particular fancy makes Minho briefly envision Jisung there with him, spending holidays with his family - eating his mother’s cooking and playing with his cats. Jisung would enjoy that, he thinks, and then he groans and throws himself face down on his bed because _fuck,_ those are Very Dangerous Thoughts.

_You being careful there?_

Jaeseok’s inquiry from earlier echoes in his head, and he swallows thickly. The more he tries to _be careful,_ the more he attempts to keep his feelings at bay, the more they thunder in his chest. This is ridiculous because Minho is an adult, and he’d like to think that he’s mature enough to be able to handle himself, even when feelings get involved. He knows his priorities, _goddamnit,_ and he knows better than to indulge in feelings only to ruin something that he’s worked too damn hard to achieve.

  
  
  


 

“You and Jisung don’t seem to be attached at the hip these days,” Changbin comments casually.

The two of them are making a quick late night run to the convenience store just down the street from their dorm after Minho had realised they were all out. Changbin just happened to pass by the kitchen in the middle of him frantically searching the pantry, which is how he gets easily dragged along after Minho decides that this is a travesty.

“What—?” Minho gawks at him in the middle of filling his mini convenience store basket with a variety of different flavored ramyeon packs.

“You’re really getting fire noodles to eat— _at midnight?!”_ Changbin sighs and shakes his head in disbelief. “And I’m pretty sure you heard what I said, hyung—” he picks one of the packets up, only to make a face as he skims through the information at the back. “Geez, the calories in these, hyung—!”

“Okay, first of all, I’m not eating all of these tonight by myself,” Minho retorts snappily, snatching the ramyeon pack out of Changbin’s hands and dropping it back in his basket. “I’m buying for everyone here, least you could do is be appreciative of my generosity! Second, _what are you even talking about?”_

Changbin shrugs. “Normally you get Jisung to come with you on these convenience store outings.”

He isn’t wrong, but Minho isn’t about to admit that _not_ calling out to Jisung to accompany him had been a conscious effort. “He was busy watching some movie with Hyunjin and Jeongin,” he points out with a shrug; a sly smirk then curves on his lips and reaches over to playfully cup Changbin’s chin. “‘Sides, wanted to spend time with our Changbinnie,” he teasingly coos.

Changbin groans, but he does laugh when he slaps Minho’s hand away. “Stop that! If you get a cut from my chin you don’t get to blame me,” he comments, and Minho can’t help but laugh.

This is what Minho likes about the younger male; with him it’s easy and uncomplicated. Minho can tease him, and he’d just laugh and make even more jokes at his own expense. Minho can be playful with him, and he’d ride along, but Minho never gets conflicting flutters in his chest, and his heart never does somersaults when he’s with Changbin.

“Stop regularly sharpening your edges then,” Minho deadpans. “Don’t turn your chin into a weapon.”

“Whatever, hyung—” Changbin laughs. “Stop being jealous of my God-given asset.” He quietly follows when Minho grabs two cans of peach iced tea, before they both head up to the counter, but the latter hasn’t even finished emptying his basket when Changbin pipes up again. “Really though, hyung—is something up with you and Jisung?”

Minho shoots him a mild glare as he takes his card out of his wallet. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he asserts, feigning innocence as he hands his card to the cashier. It isn’t even like he’s completely detached himself from Jisung, so it’s easy to pretend that Changbin’s assumption is completely off base. Minho just makes more mindful decisions, carefully choosing to spend more time with the other members instead of always defaulting to Jisung like he always used to.

“Like I said, you just aren’t as attached at the hip like you used to be,” Changbin repeats, his tone calm and even like he isn’t completely calling Minho out.

“I still don’t understand,” Minho answers, taking great care not so sound riled up in any way. He smiles at the cashier who hands him back his card and two plastic bags filled with ramyeon packs. “Am I supposed to spend every waking moment with Jisung?”

And he really isn't, that’s the thing. He’s in a group with seven other boys, and just because everything is easier and more fun with Jisung, it doesn’t mean he shouldn't be making attempts to better his personal relations with the others.

This is what he keeps telling himself anyway.

Changbin sighs, and he takes it upon himself to take the spare bag from Minho to carry himself. “Okay, fair enough but that's not what I was saying at all, hyung!” He argues with a chuckle, but he clips it at that.

“Wait—” A pained thought enters Minho’s mind, and he turns to Changbin, unable to completely hold back the look of concern that passes his features. “Did Jisung say anything? Is that why you're asking?”

“What—” Changbin actually _laughs,_ and Minho feels his ears heat up from embarrassment. Outwardly, he pretends to be unaffected, as usual. “Hyung, no. It’s my own observation.” And then after a beat, “Don’t worry.”

“Hmm, alright,” is the only way Minho can really react to that. He feels some kind of disappointment pooling at the pit of his stomach, which frustrates him because he isn't supposed to feel upset that Jisung is clearly unaffected by Minho’s lowkey attempts at pulling away from him.

As they exit the store together, Minho pops open both cans of iced tea, and proceeds to hand one of them to Changbin who cautiously receives it while giving Minho a confused look.

“No?” But even as he asks, he’s quick to recognize his own mistake. This is something he always does when he goes on these convenience store runs with Jisung - he buys them both the peach flavored iced tea, and they drink the cans dry on their walk back to the dorm.

“Ah, I just prefer the honey lemon one, is all,” Changbin murmurs, but he _does_ take a sip from the can. “You and Jisung both like this one though, right?”

Minho grits his teeth at yet another mention of the younger male, but he just shrugs his shoulders and lifts the drink can to his lips.

“Do you know he calls you his soulmate?”

In an instant Minho is glad that he hadn’t taken a large swig of his iced tea because if he had, he’d probably have ended up spitting it out at Changbin. As it is, he’d only taken a small sip, which he manages to push down his throat carefully, buying himself time to compose himself before reacting. “He wrote it down on his Two Kids Room letter to me,” he answers with a casual nod.

“No, I mean—he’s actually said it. Out loud. To me,” Changbin says, looking directly at Minho as if he’s trying to gauge the older’s reaction, before he adds, “Without cameras.”

“Oh. Yeah?” He adjusts the way the convenience store plastic bag is hanging off his wrist, and pretends to drink some more of his iced tea. He’s trying to look busy, so as to prevent Changbin from noticing any subtle changes there might be in his expression. “I think he’s been reading up a lot on soulmates or whatever recently. For lyrical inspiration.”

‘Recently,’ is a bit of an overstatement - its been _months_ since Jisung had asked him if he believed the concept, and they haven’t really talked about it since, but he doesn't want Changbin to catch on that this whole soulmate thing has been occupying Minho’s thoughts ever since Jisung first brought it up that long ago.

“Yeah—? I asked him what that meant and all he did was shrug and say that soulmates are kinda like missing pieces of you,” Changbin explains. “I think what he really just meant was that you’re very important to him.” He laughs. “I kinda wanna say he means you complete him, but that’s kinda…” He trails off as if unsure how to complete his sentence, and Minho doesn’t push.

“I’m sure all the members are important to him,” Minho points out; they're walking up  to the entrance of their apartment building now and he secretly wishes that Changbin drops this before they head up to their dorm.

“Yeah, but he doesn't call the rest of us his soulmates,” Changbin mumbles, under his breath and almost inaudible.

Minho simply takes the opportunity to pretend he didn’t hear anything.

  
  
  


 

“I’m hungry,” Jisung pouts plopping himself down on the couch next to Minho and automatically draping an arm around his shoulders.

“Go eat something then,” Minho answers, not really looking up from the book he’s attempting to read; he got this one from an airport bookstore a while back but he hasn’t really had the free time to actually read it. “I think there are leftovers from the chicken feast Woojin-hyung and Chan-hyung ordered last night.”

“Nope, I think Woojin-hyung and the manager ate whatever was left this morning for  breakfast.” Jisung answers, leaning forward so he can check the cover of the book Minho is holding - not that he seems particularly interested, really. “Besides, I’m craving meat. Grilled meat—” He flashes a wide grin, and nudges Minho’s knee with his own. “Plus I got discount coupons for that BBQ place we both love.”

Changbin, who is seated on the floor just a few feet away from them, looks up from his phone, clearly curious as to how Minho is going to handle this. It’s annoying, because he doesn't think going out to lunch with Jisung should be any kind of spectacle, but that hasn’t stopped Changbin from constantly observing the two of them as if waiting for _something_ to happen.

It’s also annoying because Minho hasn’t eaten yet all day, and the mention of his favorite BBQ restaurant is quite tempting. But he and Jisung had already spent most of the previous night just the two of them, going out for dinner and taking their precious time before showing up to night rehearsals a little before midnight. Spending more one-on-one time with Jisung immediately after that feels quite counterproductive to his resolution to taper off the amount of alone time he gets with the younger boy.

Changbin tries to meet and hold his gaze, but Minho successfully ignores him and averts his gaze. “Hyunjin and I agreed to work on choreography together,” he tells Jisung, flipping the page on his book even though he can’t remember a single word of what he just read.

“Thought that wasn’t until five this afternoon?” Changbin butts in; this time it's Minho who tries and fails to catch his gaze. “Hyunjin told me,” he adds, shrugging like he hasn’t just shattered Minho's excuse on purpose.

“That’s perfect!” Jisung declares, persistently tugging at Minho’s sleeve. “That’s when Binnie-hyung and I have to be at the studio with Chan-hyung anyway.” He has an adorable pout on his lips and _Jesus Christ,_ Minho wonders if he actually knows that there’s very little Minho can refuse him whenever he wears that expression. “Come on, hyung—!”

Minho sighs before narrowing his eyes at Changbin. “You want to come along?” He figures if he’s going out with Jisung again, it’d be better to at least have another member as a buffer. His heart likes doing too many things when it’s just him and Jisung.

“Nah—” Changbin quickly turns the offer down; a hint of a smirk ghosts his lips and Minho is lowkey tempted to reach over and slap his mouth off his face. “Already had lunch—plus I’m meeting Hyunjin in half an hour. He wants some diction help before the final recording tomorrow.”

Minho purses his lips because it's looking more and more like he and Jisung are going to be stuck with just each other again, and the fact that this actually excites a large part of him… is probably _not_ a good thing.

Jisung is still looking at him with his round, button eyes, silently pleading with them while Changbin very obviously attempts to keep himself from snickering.

Just then, Seungmin passes them on his way to his room, and Minho quickly calls out to him.

“Seungminnie! Want to go for some grilled meat?”

“I’ve got lots of discount coupons!” Jisung announces, as if to help entice their teammate to say yes.

To be fair that _does_ seem to tempt Seungmin, who gives them a curious glance. “Who else is going?”

Minho shrugs, while Jisung happily answers, “Just me and Minho-hyung so far!”

“Just the two of you?!” Seungmin makes an expression that’s halfway between a wince and an aborted snort. “Never mind, then. I have a lot of school work to finish, anyway.”

“Huh?” Jisung looks confused as he watches Seungmin head on to their shared bedroom, yelling after him to no avail. “Wait—Yah, what’s that supposed to mean _just the two of us?!_ What’s wrong with me and Minho-hyung?!”

“Oh, I don’t know—maybe it’s the way the two of you forget you’re with others, whenever you go out in groups of 3 or 4,” Changbin offers, as he gets up from his spot on the floor - presumably so he can go and be on his way to meet Hyunjin at the company building.

“Hey, that's not true!” Jising argues, and then he turns to Minho, clearly bothered by the accusation. Minho wonders what it says about him that the first thing that comes to mind is how much he wants to kiss that upset pout away and off of Jisung's face. “That's not true, is it, hyung?”

“It’s not,” Minho agrees without giving it much thought, sighing as he comforts Jisung by giving him gentle pats on the back of his head. “Come on,” he adds, giving in and getting  up and off the couch. “I’m starving and discounted meat sounds good.”

Lucky for Minho (or not, depending on which part of himself he wants to listen to), he and Jisung run into Woojin and Felix on their way out, and the two easily turn on their heel and agree to join them for lunch.

Between the four of them, thanks to the discount coupons that Jisung kept boasting about, they order a whole lot of meat. Possibly not the best idea considering they're in the middle of comeback preparation, and they have all sorts filming and photoshoots coming up that week alone.

“Just gotta hit the gym more than usual,” Jisung declares, laughing as he reaches over to pat Minho’s stomach.

“Because _you're_ such a disciplined gym bunny,” Minho retorts soullessly.

Jisung’s laugh is actually somewhat sheepish at that. “I _am_ trying harder these days, hyung! Just you wait and see!”

It’s probably the comfort of having Woojin and Felix there with them that allows Minho to let himself stop being overly conscious of having Jisung right next to him. It doesn’t occur to him that Changbin is right about what he said earlier - about him and Jisung always forgetting they’re out with others, implying how easily they get lost in their own world - until he catches a glimpse of said person himself, walking through the entry doors of the restaurant, accompanied by Hyunjin.

What’s worse is that Jisung is in the middle of feeding him a (surprisingly) neat and well-made lettuce wrap when the two newcomers arrive at their table. He almost chokes on it, too, thanks to the side-eye that Changbin gives him. He vaguely recalls quietly appreciating that Changbin never truly pushes him for anything, but he’s taking that back now - the constant knowing looks are worse than any outright inquiry Changbin might make.

“Wha—?” He tries to ask, even as he almost chokes thanks to the massive piece of meat Jisung had apparently hidden inside the wrap.

Jisung’s hand, warm and comforting, is automatically on his back, soothing him as he  forcibly pushes the food down his throat. None of these things - feeding him and gently rubbing his back - should even really be a big deal because these are quiet favors everyone on the team regularly does for each other, and yet, this is the moment when it dawns on Minho just how much their push and pull has been inverted, and it’s more than a little nerve wracking. All the little things Minho used to do for Jisung and around Jisung, have been turned on him and he isn’t sure how to feel or what he should do about it.

“You alright there, hyung?” Changbin asks, but Minho chooses to ignore him, instead practically _stabbing_ a piece of meat with his metal chopsticks before holding it up towards Hyunjin who happily takes the food into his mouth.

“You two just sit down and eat,” he instructs, scooting over to the side to make room for Hyunjin and Changbin both.

“Yeah, eat a lot!” Jisung chirps in. “I got coupons!” He announces _yet again,_ causing the rest of the table to erupt in laughter.

Minho, on his part, quietly bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a fond smile; his eyes betray him anyway.

  
  
  


 

Sometimes Minho looks back so he can try to figure out what it was exactly that sealed the deal for him. To figure out exactly when it was that his heart decided that it was a goner for one Han Jisung.

He wonders if it was that time, when they were filming their so-called survival show, and Jisung boldly grabbed his hand, took it in his, as if he knew exactly how much of a wreck Minho was in that moment. It was so much more than just supportive skinship - it was even more than the sincere ingenuity of Jisung offering his silent help by timing the beat against Minho's palm. The importance of that moment to Minho lay in the way Jisung so effortlessly let him _feel_ that he was right there, and that he was _always_ going to be; the significance of that moment lay in the trust that Jisung built by performing such a simple action.

Still, despite remembering very clearly how shaken he had been after Park Jinyoung had switched his lines, and recalling very vividly how his own voice trembled when he agreed to do it anyway despite never having tried rap before, that experience feels like a complete lifetime ago to Minho. Then again, that would still be in line with the way it feels like he's been grappling with these feelings he has for Jisung for as far as he can look back on.

So some days, he accepts that’s how it happened, and he's able to neatly bundle up and put away the memory.

But then there are also days when he thinks - maybe it wasn't a simple, singular moment. Days when he starts to think that maybe it's really more about the accumulated moments, all those times that Jisung has proven himself to be a good match with Minho, and that's when it gets more complicated. It’s harder to pack the feelings up when you realise that they stem from various memories, from too many events that allowed Minho to fall slowly, bit by bit, until he's way in over his head and at a complete loss on what to do.

What was it that Jisung said about soulmates? About how when you're with them, they make you feel like together, you're one - like together, you're _whole_.

A year ago, he would have called bullshit on the whole soulmate concept. A person should feel complete on their own - he _still_ thinks that; he _still_ feels complete by himself, even. He functions just fine by himself, except the difference now is that with Jisung, he feels a different kind of fullness. It’s as if before, he was a pencil sketch - a picture with a story on it’s own, but Jisung is the ink that lines the drawing, giving it more depth and shadow, filling the picture out, in the same way that Jisung fills him up, and makes every part of him make clearer sense.

When he comes to conclusions like this, he can only sigh in defeat. He never used to think himself a romantic, but these days with all these idyllic thoughts and mumbo jumbo concerning soulmates and Jisung, he’s starting to realise that maybe the adjective just might apply to him after all.

  
  
  


 

Sharing a room with three other people means you don’t really get a lot of privacy, but all of them do what they can when it comes to making sure that they all respect everybody’s designated spaces. Minho has long ago draped a coverlet against the side of his bottom bunk, and whenever it’s closed off, everyone knows better than to disturb him.

Everyone except Jisung, because he’s Jisung and he apparently doesn't fear anything when it comes to Minho.

“Hi—” He boldly greets Minho with a cheeky grin as he pulls aside the drape.

Minho, whose eyes had gotten used to the dark - the only light coming from the screen of his phone as he plays some mobile game that Felix told him about recently - winces and blinks rapidly as bright, fluorescent lighting floods into his little space.

“The f—?!” He groans, while his phone makes a sequence of noises that informs him he’s just lost his game.

“Oops, sorry,” Jisung says, his grin shifting from cocky to a bit more sheepish. “Can I sleep here with you, hyung? It’s kinda cold and Seungmin won’t let me turn up the heater.”

Minho sighs. “Is it going to matter if I say no?”

“Wellllll—” Jisung purses his lips and makes that woe-is-me expression that Minho can never tell if he hates or loves.

“Fine,” He acquiesces, pretending to be exasperated even as he scoots over to the side so that there can be enough room for Jisung to crawl into. “You’re insufferable.”

“But you love me, right?” Jisung declares with a confident laugh.

“Just pull the cover back,” is all Minho can respond with. “Too bright.”

Jisung does as he’s told, and then without another word he makes himself comfortable by snuggling against Minho’s side.

“Hey hyung,” he whispers; Minho is making an attempt to resume his game, but now that Jisung has started to talk, he doubts it's gonna happen. “It’s your birthday soon, is there anything you want?”

Minho snorts. “My birthday is in three days and you still haven’t gotten me a present?!”

“We’ve been super busy recently!” Jisung whines; he’s right, of course. Along with Minho’s birthday comes the release of their new mini album, and the start of yet another promotional cycle. The only reason they’re even at home that night instead of toiling away at the dance studio is because they’d woken up at an unholy hour that morning to film a few things, and their day had gone on non-stop, with hardly any break.

“I got you _your_ present weeks in advance,” Minho tells him, and even though it's dark, Minho notices the way that Jisung’s expression deflates.

“Come on hyung,” he softly pleads, warm as he nuzzles against Minho’s shoulder. “What’s something you want - tell me?”

“Peace and quiet,” Minho deadpans, to which Jisung responds with a huff.

“Fine—” Jisung says. “Where can I buy it?”

The way Jisung plays along actually cracks Minho up, and soon enough, the two of them are chortling and wheezing together as they try not to be too loud.

“You don’t need to get me a gift, Jisungie,” Minho softly tells him, once he’s caught his breath again. “Like you said, we’ve been busy, and my birthday should be the least of your worries.”

“But I really want to,” Jisung counters, sighing. “I’ll definitely come up with something, even if a little late.”

“Sure, okay—” Minho agrees, moving to place his phone next to his pillow before shifting to his side so that he’s face to face with Jisung.

His heart is beating rapidly again, but at this point he’s become used to it. He can’t act on his feelings, nor can he completely stay away from Jisung, so he’s decided that it would be best to just… _let it be._ If he doesn’t know what to do, then he should just do nothing.

In that moment, the resolution is getting quite hard to stay true to, because Jisung’s face is so close to his own, and despite Woojin sleeping in his bunk just several feet across Minho’s, the dark curtain that’s covering Minho’s bed is allowing them the illusion of being alone. He really, _really_ wants to move, just an inch and his lips would be on Jisung’s, and now that he’s started to think about it, he can’t help but wonder how they would feel and taste.

“Hyung?” Jisung interrupts his dangerous daydreaming, and Minho answers with a grunt, thoughtlessly reaching up and lightly combing his fingers through the younger’s hair.

“What is it, Jisungie?”

Jisung leans closer to his touch, and Minho has to quietly swallow the soft coo that threatens to escape him.

“Hyunjin and I were talking earlier.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Just… about how much we’ve changed after we debuted.” There’s a thoughtful undertone to the way he speaks, and Minho’s hand stills, moving down instead to settle on Jisung’s hip.

“I don’t think any of us are the same as we were a year ago, Jisungie,” Minho points out. A year doesn’t feel that long, but he’s pretty sure that he’s not who he was before he debuted as a member of Stray Kids.

“Definitely,” Jisung agrees quietly and with a small nod. He shifts in place so he can lay on his back, and this time it’s Minho who moves his arm so he can properly wrap it around Jisung’s smaller frame, and pull the latter closer towards him. “Minho-hyung, thank you.”

“Hm?” The elder is confused. “Because I let you sleep here?”

“Yeah, that,” Jisung chuckles softly, “but mostly because you helped a lot in my maturing process.”

Now Minho is even more confused. “I didn’t really do anything?” Jisung certainly looks more comfortable in his own skin now, and he acts a lot less like he has a permanent chip on his shoulder; Minho’s also heard stories about how Jisung was even worse - a complete picture of a pissy young teen - before they’d met, but he assumes that time is the main factor in his thawing out. Nothing to do with him. “Not more than anyone else in the group anyway,” he adds out loud, after a second, because he supposes that everyone in the team has had some sort of impact in each other’s growth.

“Of course you did, hyung. You made me feel like someone understood me just the way I am—you never made me feel like I needed to prove anything to you because we got along so well, so fast, and all I needed to do for that to happen was just be me. And—” Jisung’s breath hitches, and Minho automatically grips his hip when it happens. “That was really important to me, hyung. Because your simple presence made me feel like it was okay to let my guard down—and that was what helped me consider the perspective of other people. Kinda learned that not everything is about me.” He laughs, seemingly embarrassed as he turns his head and presses his cheek against Minho’s arm.

Minho is quiet for a while; he’s allowing Jisung’s words to settle with him, and it’s a little ridiculous how well he understands what the younger male means.

“You helped me a lot too, you know,” he murmurs, his eyelids fluttering close as he rests his chin against Jisung’s shoulder.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

He sounds so genuinely bemused that it’s almost funny. Jisung just explained in great detail how Minho had helped him, and yet he hasn’t grasped the idea that he’s dome the exact same thing to Minho.

“You think it was easy being the new kid and immediately being thrust into a team of nine?” Minho sighs.

Jisung smiles and elbows him gently. “Well you made it look easy, hyung. You didn’t care about being awkward—you just carved a place for yourself in the group. I always thought that was admirable.”

“I know the other members found me weird for it.”

“I didn’t. I like that a lot about you, hyung.”

“And that’s exactly why I—” _love you,_ he almost says, and it could easily have been a harmless statement. A simple and sweet utterance of affection from one teammate to another. But Minho holds his tongue, because in that moment, he realises that he means it in a way that’s so much more than that, and this is both scary and anxiety inducing. It’s one thing to have a crush on Jisung, but anything beyond that is an entirely different beast.

“Why you—?” Jisung covers his hand with his own, tapping it gently as if to call his attention back.

He can’t deal with this yet, not when Jisung is right next to him, being so sweet, soft and earnest - Minho just wants to enjoy that, at least for now. That he might just be in love with said boy is something he’ll dissect later, so Minho shakes his head, and shakes off his nerves.

“I just mean that’s why I felt the same around you, Jisung,” he murmurs, redirecting his thoughts to their current conversation. “You made me feel comfortable, welcome, and free to be myself. Everyone else might find me weird, but I could easily tell myself that I had time to win them over, because you were on my corner right from the start.”

“It’s because I thought you were interesting,” Jisung says, strangely sounding smug, which makes Minho giggle. “You know, hyung, you always seemed so unbothered by everything back then. Even after you got—” Even now, Jisung winces before he can say the word, “—eliminated, you kept smiling, and even cracking jokes.”

“Jisung.” Minho inhales deeply; just the thought of showing even a little vulnerability has him reeling, but this is _Jisung,_ so even though Minho’s first instinct, as usual, is to make some kind of sarcastic quip, he holds back. “I was _eliminated._ Of course I was upset and bothered. I spent weeks thinking I was lacking so much—even after PD-nim told us that we were set to debut with nine members, there were times when I felt like that was a mistake, and all of you were going to realise that one day, down the line.”

Jisung rolls over to his side, and once again, they’re facing each other. His arm circles around Minho’s waist in a comforting hug, and he presses his face against Minho’s chest, taking a deep breath before he responds.

“Hyung, I know that _now._ I mean, I understand it now because I’ve learned to look beyond myself and my own feelings,” Jisung pauses, chuckling. “And I’d like to think that I know you even better now, compared to before. You have a hard time expressing yourself, _especially_ when you’re upset—and it’s because more often than not, you blame yourself, so you crack jokes and make snarky remarks to deflect.” It would amaze Minho just how spot on Jisung is with his observation, but then again, it’s long been established that the two of them have a lot in common. “I was like that too, hyung,” Jisung says quietly. “Except I didn’t crack jokes, I just lashed out at everyone.”

“At least now you’re self aware—and in effect you don’t really do that anymore.”

“I know—” Jisung pulls away, just a little, and even in the dark, Minho can tell that the younger male is grinning widely at him. “Which brings me to my original point—thank _you,_ hyung. For being you.”

Minho chuckles quietly; the feelings that he’d forcefully pushed to the back of his mind just minutes ago are back in full force - except, instead of clamoring for attention at the forefront of his thoughts, they’re now threatening to make his heart explode.

He squeezes Jisung in his hold - his only recourse, if he doesn’t want to make an untimely confession that will likely ruin so many of the good things in his life at the moment.

“Thank you, Jisung,” he echoes gently, his hold on the smaller male loosening a little after he lets out a drawn out exhale. “For being _you.”_

  
  
  


 

“Hey, hyung, do you mind walking back home instead of taking a cab?”

The suggestion makes Woojin look at Minho like he’s just grown a third eye, and it makes him laugh.

“Minho, we just spent two fucking hours at the gym I am _beat,_ ” Woojin groans. “And we have night practice later, so I don’t think unnecessary exhaustion should be on the table right now.”

He’s right, and truthfully, Minho’s own muscles are killing him after the session they’d just had, but he doesn’t really want to head back to the dorm just yet, either.

“Wanna get something to eat, then?”

“We’re both on a diet, Minho, and it’s almost 8.”

“Coffee?” Minho suggests next with a sigh, and with a hint of desperation in his time that's completely uncharacteristic to him and Woojin’s brow creases as he observes him because of this.

“Something on your mind?”

Minho answers with a shrug.

“How about we get coffee at Soul C—” Minho is already shaking his head before Woojin even finishes the suggestion; he’d rather talk some place where the odds of the other members showing up in the middle of their conversation are slim to none. Woojin sighs, and nods with the kind of understanding that makes Minho glad he has his roommate to turn to whenever he really needs to get some things off his mind _and_ his chest. “The Starbucks across the street, then?”

Minho nods, relieved. He doubts any of the members are going to head to the gym this late, especially with late night rehearsals later.

After they both order their usual drinks (an iced Americano for Minho, and an iced mocha for Woojin), they get lucky and find a newly vacated table for two in the corner of the café where they're sure to gather the least attention.

“So. Spill.” Woojin, typical of him, gets straight to the point.

Minho takes a lengthy sip from his drink; even though he’s the one who (technically) asked for this conversation, he’s still uneasy. He wishes it came easy to him, sharing emotion, but he knows wishes like that are fruitless unless he actually does something to make it come true.

“Hyung,” he starts, “when you were a trainee, did you ever like anyone—? Or, actually, did you ever date?”

Woojin looks surprised at the question, and Minho can’t really blame him, because that hadn’t exactly been the lead-in he’d been planning on.

“Well, that’s random,” Woojin comments.

“Is it, really?” Minho clicks his tongue. “My next ask was going to be—would you ever pursue someone in the same—” Minho pauses for a quick second as he goes through word substitutions in his head, only to end up with, “—industry?”

Woojin keeps giving him a strange look, but Minho ignores it because he’s used to it; besides, strange doesn’t necessarily have to be something negative.

“There _was_ someone,” Woojin says, his tone cautious when he finally gives in to the topic. “From back when I was still at my last agency—kinda funny, since they’re ten times stricter there with the separation of male and female trainees. But, yeah. I liked this girl, and we got close because we took the same bus home.”

“Did you get together?”

“Not officially,” Woojin answers. “But we were… _something._ It fizzled out after I left, though.”

“How much did you like her, hyung?”

“Apparently not enough to survive being in two different agencies,” Woojin answers with a sigh. He stares at Minho for several seconds, before shaking his head and asking, “So, someone in JYP, huh?” Minho shrugs and moves his straw around his cup, not really giving Woojin a verbal answer. “Are you already together?”

This time Minho immediately shakes his head. “It’s not just _anyone_ in JYP,” he mutters, this time locking eyes with the older until a subtle look of realisation passes Woojin’s expression; Minho can’t help but look away after that, especially when he hears the older male release a soft, telling _‘Oh,’_ under his breath.

“Do they at least know how you feel?”

“One of my dancer hyungs used to always tell me never to shit where I eat,” Minho says, feeling the need to provide an explanation before he could cop to his own cowardice. “Told me that workplace romances are never a good idea, and are always regretted in the end.”

“That’s pretty sound advice, actually.” For some reason, Woojin saying that has Minho quietly deflating, which is silly because what had he been expecting Woojin to say? He’s right, it’s sound, solid advice that Minho shouldn’t even consider disobeying. “But,” Woojin continues anyway, much to Minho’s surprise, “that doesn’t mean it’s absolute for everyone.”

“Hyung, are you trying to say that I should—?” He tries to keep his tone lighthearted so he can easily pretend to be joking if his comment backfires, but it barely matters when Woojin interrupts him anyway.

“I’m not saying go for it, Minho—considering what we do, that would be playing with fire, and I’m sure you already know it. Which is the point I’m trying to make here. You’re an adult, and you’re the one who should know how decisions you make will affect you, and the people around you.” Woojin sighs. “I’m not gonna try and restrict you, but I’m not going to give you permission that you shouldn’t be getting from me, anyway.  At the end of the day, you just have to trust yourself, and your own ability to deal with whatever results your actions might incur—good _and_ bad.”

  
  
  


 

The two of them should probably be in bed, sleeping, just like the rest of the members. It’s almost two in the morning, and they hadn't really gotten back to the dorm until past midnight, thanks to a full day at work that started with pre-recording for a music show at an unholy hour in the morning, segued into a fan sign later in the early evening, and eventually ended with an endorsement photoshoot late  into the night.

Everyone is rightfully exhausted, which is why everyone had just filed in upon arriving home, taking turns at quickly washing up and changing into more comfortable clothing. Jisung and Minho, however, decide to camp out in the living room after everyone else calls for lights out, huddling close so they can share an iPad and watch a few more episodes of the drama that they’d started earlier that day while bored in the KBS waiting room.

They're in the middle of the episode they'd put on when Jisung, completely out of the blue, poses the question to Minho,

“Have you ever kissed anyone before, hyung?”

“What?!” Minho gawks at Jisung; more than the fact that the question is a complete surprise, he has no idea _why_ or _how_ Jisung could even come to think that he's never kissed anyone before. “Do I look like I’ve never—?” He pauses the drama they're watching and turns to look at his friend; a vague memory passes his thoughts and he shakes his head. “In fact, I distinctly remember telling you about my first kiss—?”

He was fourteen, summer, and he was fresh out of his first year of middle school; his neighbor's fifteen year old granddaughter was staying next door because she was checking out the high schools in the area. She and Minho had gotten quite close in the span of three weeks, and right before she was set to go back to her home in Daegu, Minho had asked, blunt and straightforward, if he could kiss her.

He’s pretty sure that he already told Jisung about this because they've been through the subject of first kisses before.

“Oh sorry,” Jisung answers, quite unfazed by Minho's reaction. “Should have been clearer—what I meant was, have you ever kissed _a guy_ before?”

If Minho had been taken aback earlier, now he’s in plain shock. He blinks rapidly, not really knowing how to answer.

“I mean—” Jisung swallows thickly; he at least looks less brazen now that he’s noticed Minho’s expression. “You—Hyung, you’re open to liking guys, right?”

“Uh—” Minho doesn’t think he’s ever told a story specific enough that will allow Jisung to come to this conclusion; it doesn’t feel right to deny it now, either, so he just pauses and stares.

“Oh. I mean, sorry if I assumed wrong,” Jisung quickly backtracks, but there’s something in his expression that shows he doesn’t really think his assumption is in any way incorrect. “It’s just that from your stories before…”

“Why do you want to know?” He eventually asks, when Jisung doesn’t really pick his sentence back up, clearly waiting for an answer from Minho. The answer to his original question is, of course, Minho has. It isn’t as if he has vast experience - with the same or opposite sex - but those few months between high school graduation and his joining JYPE was time well spent, if he was to be honest.

“I—” Jisung opens his mouth, before closing it again as if he needs to rethink the answer he was about to give. He cranes his neck to the side, exhaling quietly while staring intensely at Minho. The latter can almost see the gears in Jisung’s head turn, yet he can't figure him out anyway.

“Yes, you,” Minho echoes with false nonchalance, finally turning away from Jisung. There’s suddenly a strange tension surrounding them, and it makes him somewhat uncomfortable; he moves his hand so he can hit play on their drama again. Except before his finger can swipe along the play button on the tablet he’s cradling in his lap, Jisung is reaching over and circling _his_ fingers around Minho’s wrist.

He turns to face Jisung again, about to ask what he needs, but he finds that Jisung’s face is once again too close to his. Minho should be used to this by now, considering how much the younger male has been surprising him like this recently, but the moment feels different somehow. He swallows quietly, eyes briefly landing on Jisung’s cute mouth, before he forces them up to meet the latter’s eyes; they’re shining, curious, and yet the last thing Minho remembers is Jisung smiling calmly right before he leans in and plants his lips on Minho’s.

Surprised, Minho almost pulls away on instinct, but then Jisung’s hand leaves his wrist and settles instead on the side of his neck; the gesture is so simple, but it allows Minho to relax into the kiss, and soon his own lips are the ones parting against Jisung’s, his own tongue that’s sliding along Jisung’s bottom lip and seeking entrance.

It’s pretty obvious that despite having made the first move, Jisung is a little unsure about what he’s doing; there’s a soft, distant voice at the back of Minho’s head cooing because it’s adorable, but Minho pushes it away in favor of focusing on the kiss, turning tables and taking the lead instead.

Jisung, of course, is a quick study, and soon enough the kiss goes from tentative to more than a little heated, complete with an exchange of soft gasps and wet smacks, with teeth nipping at lips, and tongues carelessly pushing against each other.

Minho would be lying if he said that he hasn’t imagined kissing Jisung before, but in each scenario he’d conjured it was never like this. In his head it was always sweet, almost chaste, because in his head, he’s always afraid of scaring Jisung away.

But this, now, he’s going on pure instinct, and it’s obvious that Jisung is, as well. They’re in sync, as usual, and when Minho groans into the kiss, Jisung takes that as is cue to push himself forward, making an attempt to move his leg across Minho’s lap so he can straddle him.

They’re both laughing softly into each other’s mouths as they try to shift in their positions without separating their mouths, when they suddenly hear the faint sound of a door opening and they quickly jump apart in panic. Most of the lights are turned off, and it’s working in their favor because it’s too dim for anyone to make out the redness in their cheeks, or the glossy fullness of their lips.

Felix comes out of the room he normally shares with Minho (and Woojin, and Jeongin), rubbing his eyes and blinking at them. _“Hey guys,”_ he says, defaulting in English likely because he’s too tired to remember to speak in Korean. _“You’re still awake?”_

“Yeah we’re just finishing this,” Minho answers; beside him, Jisung flashes an innocent-looking grin as he holds up the iPad, whose screen was frozen on some random scene with the female lead and her leading man. “You?”

 _“Bathroom,”_ Felix mutters, just nodding at them before he sleepily drags his own feet to the bathroom.

As soon as they both hear the door click behind their Australian friend, Minho exhales with relief, while Jisung lets out the laughter he was obviously holding in.

“Tch,” Minho scoffs, but Jisung’s carefree laugh admittedly has a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Jisung is still giggling even when Minho takes the tablet away from his grasp; he finally hits the play button again, and as the female lead resumes the speech she’d been giving her leading man earlier, he feels Jisung resting his forehead against the curve of his shoulder.

“I wanted to know what I was missing,” he whispers, so softly, that it’s almost as if Jisung is talking more to himself than Minho. “That’s why I asked.”

  
  
  


 

There are no big changes in the aftermath of the night; album promotions are on its last leg, but that didn’t mean they had any free time to look forward to. They were at the last quarter of the year, which meant, between preparing for special stages and overseas events, the group is busier than ever.

If anything, Minho _does_ stop consciously putting space between him and Jisung, but it's not as if that plan was working out to begin with. Jisung’s words also stick to him; they constantly do laps around his thoughts, as if impatiently waiting - _asking_ \- to be scrutinized and figured out.

_I wanted to know what I was missing._

Minho doesn’t know what he’s supposed to make of that. On the surface, it sounds like Jisung is simply curious and exploring his sexuality - and he’s decided that Minho is the person he trusts the most to help him with this. The fact that the first thing that Minho thinks after he comes up with this hypothesis is ‘cute,’ is frankly worrying, and is probably enough reason why he is the last person who Jisung should be engaging with in his quest to figuring out what he wants. Minho, clearly, is completely too far gone for Han Jisung.

Someone should probably read Jisung the memo on the hazards of a workplace romance - except that doesn’t sound right; one intense makeout session does not make a romance; fuckmance, maybe? Except they’re quite far from _that_ stage, too, and Minho doesn’t even want to consciously imagine getting there because it feels like a deep dive that he isn’t really ready to make if he wants to keep his sanity and his priorities in place.

He isn’t sure what to call whatever this is that's suddenly happening between him and Jisung, but he’s sure that someone really does need to explain to Jisung that you don’t just kiss your co-worker - your _teammate_ \- like that, without much warning or thought, because _—_

Well, _because._

There are reasons, and Minho used to be more mindful of them, really, but the next time that Jisung tries anything is when they’re in Japan, and Jisung has just dyed his hair a gorgeous shade of dark blue, and Minho ends up completely forgetting what all these suddenly frivolous reasons are supposed to be.

They end up spending an hour making out in their hotel room (because even though they were originally assigned different roommates, Jisung has somehow orchestrated a last minute switcheroo that allowed them to share), until they both let their exhaustion take over and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

It doesn’t stop there, but they don’t talk about what happened either; instead, they develop a silent system, and they come up with signals that only the two of them understand. They steal kisses here and there, in between schedules, and any other time they manage to get away from the other members’ prying eyes.

They don’t do much more than kissing, in fact, they don’t really do more than that at all. They get a little handsy sometimes, but it’s not as if they ever really have the time or opportunity for more. Just as well, though, Minho thinks, because every time they kiss, he finds himself wanting _more,_ and it’s not the kind of more that will take them from PG-13 makeout sessions, to something beyond that. He generally wants more of _Jisung,_ anything and everything that the boy can offer, but he isn’t stupid and that’s why he’s straddling somewhere between frustrated and grateful that they’re stuck at whatever stage it is they’re at.

He remembers Woojin telling him that he’s an adult who should trust himself to make his own decisions, so the sane, logical part of him knows that he has to do something. At the very least, he has to talk to Jisung, and they have to simmer down and figure out whatever this is before it ruins them completely. But he’s scared - he doesn’t want to be an adult anymore, because he’s unable to trust himself around Jisung.

The worst part - or the best, depending how you look at it - is how, as usual, just like with everything else that has to do with Jisung, they still fit together so seamlessly.

  
  
  


 

He should have probably expected it when Chan asks to talk to him after one late night rehearsal. He assumes that Chan probably wants to ask him something about the choreography that the leader would rather not have the other members hear about so when Jisung asks if he should wait for him, Minho, for once unsuspecting, tells him to go on ahead back to the dorm with the rest of the members.

It’s when Chan starts pussyfooting around, asking Minho if he wants to get something to drink from the vending machine down the hall when Minho is still holding a half full water bottle in his hands, and then asking Minho if he wants to get some snacks from the convenience store down the street instead, that he realises whatever this is that Chan wants to talk about, it isn’t completely about work. Chan would never have any problem broaching _that_ topic, so whatever this is, it has to at least be a little bit personal.

That has Minho’s walls going up, and his tone is somewhat steely when he interrupts Chan’s uncharacteristic rambling about the odeng sold by the ajumma down the street.

“Hyung, just say what you need to say,” he tells his leader, his expression blank, even though he’s feeling a nervous tightening around his chest. Suddenly, he’s pretty sure he knows what this is going to be about.

Chan sighs, but he nods, and finally, “You and Jisung.”

 _And there you go,_ Minho thinks, deflating as he looks at everywhere else in the room but Chan.

“Did Woojin-hyung tell you?”

He hasn't exactly discussed whatever it is that's going on with Woojin, at least not in great detail. But considering the conversation they've had before, coupled with all the concerned send knowing glances his roommate has thrown him over the course of the last month, he's sure it's safe to assume that Woojin knows what's going on.

“Well—yes and no,” Chan answers. “I asked him if he knew something, but I kinda figured it out myself first.”

“Right.” Minho nods slowly; so it turns out that he and Jisung weren't as careful or stealthy as they thought they were being. “I’m sorry,” he adds, even though as soon as the words leave his lips, he realises how empty they actually are. He's an awful person, he thinks, because he's only really sorry that they've been caught, and he braces himself for Chan’s wrath. He fully expects to be told off, and to be instructed to end things immediately.

“Minho?” Chan doesn't sound angry though, or even upset; he sounds tired mostly - maybe even a little sad, and this is what prompts Minho to meet his gaze once more. “I wasn't asking for an apology, you know?”

Minho knits his brow, and gives his leader a questioning look. _Then what are you asking for?_ Is the unvoiced inquiry.

“I just want to be clear on what's going on Minho,” Chan says. “Are _you_ clear on what's going on?”

And that right there is the real question isn’t it? Minho has no idea how to answer because he doesn’t actually _have_ one.

“I—” he starts; the things he wants to say are stuck in his throat, and he swallows spit a couple of times before he can continue. “I like Jisung. A lot.”

“Kinda figured that was the case,” Chan says with a tired sigh. “Look, I’m not going to forcibly put a stop to… whatever this is. That isn’t really going to help anyone at this point—not you, not Jisung, and certainly not the team. Maybe if I’d been able to nip it in the bud, I would have, but something tells me we’re far beyond that point now.” He pauses, and looks at Minho like he’s expecting some sort of answer or acknowledgment.

Minho simply shrugs his shoulders, because he still doesn’t have a proper answer for Chan.

“Minho, just make sure… just be sure that you’re clear on what’s going on, and that you and Jisung are on the same page. Either you go all in, or you don’t at all, because otherwise, this becomes about more than just the two of you—do you understand what I’m saying?”

He nods slowly, taking in every word that’s coming out of his leader’s mouth. Chan is right, of course - just like Woojin, he’s basically telling Minho to man up, be an adult, and make decisions that he can fully stand behind.

“You know—well, of course you know, you’re not an idiot,” Chan pauses to click his tongue, “but obviously it’s going to be bad enough if you get caught with a girl, but with Jisung—with another guy, Minho, I hope you both consider this very carefully, because I don’t think it’s something you can get past if it ever comes out.”

Minho winces because Chan is right; he isn’t an idiot and he’s well aware of everything that’s being said to him.

“And once you’re clear on things—well, I know it’s not going to be easy. Can’t really force you or Jisung to come out to people if you’re not ready, but who’s gonna cover for you if not the other members, yeah?” Chan chuckles softly, tiredly. “Besides, pretty sure everyone’s picked up on the fact that something’s going on—”

“Everyone, huh?” Minho interrupts, attempting to lighten the atmosphere by making a half-assed attempt at a joke. “Even Yongbokie?”

“Jesus, Minho,” Chan actually _rolls_ his eyes at that. “Yes, even Felix—you overestimate your and Jisung’s ability to be stealthy. While I assume that you and Jisung haven’t really gone far considering you never actually have marks that go below you collarbone—” The comment actually makes Minho blush, which seems to satisfy Chan, “—we all still share a dressing room, and no one in this group is _blind.”_

“Right,” Minho murmurs, because all he can do is agree to that.

“Anyway,” Chan continues, “my original point was that, no one’s really treated you differently as far as I know, so I hope you realise that hiding things from the members is not the way to go about this.”

“Okay, hyung,” Minho answers quietly. “Thank you.”

Chan is right, of course, but once again, the idea of having to sort his feelings out and knowing that he has to make things clear with Jisung is making Minho sick. Chan, just like Woojin, is allowing him to be an adult and figure things out for himself, but it’s so nauseating because he’s afraid that he’s going to say the wrong thing to Jisung, and that in the process he’s going to end up losing a kind of connection that he never knew he wanted or needed, but ended up finding with Jisung anyway.

He almost wants Chan to just order him to end it instead of being the caring, careful, but open-minded leader he is. At least then he wouldn’t have to stress about what he should do.

  
  
  


 

Because he is who he is, faced with having to truly deal with his own feelings and emotions, he does what he always does: he avoids dealing with any of it.

He puts off having proper conversation with Jisung, and he reverts to cutting back on solo time with him. Minho assumes he gets away with it because they’re still barely getting any free time, which gives him the excuse of being perpetually tired.

In front of the others, Minho continues to play well with Jisung anyway; he snarks at him like usual, and he allows Jisung to tease him without much consequence. It’s funny though, because even when Minho is actively avoiding being alone with Jisung, their natural banter remains and they continue to work so well together; Minho isn’t sure if that pleases him or pisses him off.

A few times, he catches Jisung giving him hurt and confused looks, but every time, he pretends they don’t mean what they really mean, and he returns them with small, apologetic smiles as if silently promising some kind of _next time._

And then it happens, one night, several weeks into the new year.

When he arrives at the dorm with Woojin, he finds that only Jeongin is at home. They’ve just put a couple of stops of their tour behind them, so for once they've been allowed a little room to breathe.

He knows Chan and Changbin are still at the gym, where they’d left them. They’d arrived for their session an hour after Minho and Woojin did, so even after the latter two had announced that they were getting dinner and heading home, Chan and Changbin both opted to stay behind.

Meanwhile, the newly adult foursome, according to Jeongin, had decided to go out and do some ‘adult’ things, just because they finally can.

“I think that means they went out to go drinking,” Jeongin says with an unbothered expression.

“Manager-hyung let them?!” Minho asks, surprised, and quite concerned.

Jeongin just gives him a shoulder shrug, and when he turns to Woojin for some backup, the older simply mirrors the maknae’s reaction. They both frustrate Minho, but with nothing more than a bit of grumbling under his breath, he decides that if no one else is worried, then neither should he be.

He manages to push Jisung away from the forefront of his thoughts, at least until much later. It’s a little past one in the morning and he’s in the middle of washing up and getting ready for bed when someone starts loudly banging on the bathroom door.

“Open up!! I need to pee!” It’s Jisung, and he sounds pretty frantic; he’s also repeatedly pounding on the door, and Minho, who’s just brushing his teeth anyway, gives in and unlocks the door.

Jisung’s eyes widen after he pushes the door open, and he sees who’s inside. Minho is the first to look away, turning to the sink so he can spit the foam out of his mouth; eye contact broken, Jisung doesn’t hesitate in rushing past him, straight to the toilet so he can relieve himself.

The loud whizzing of Jisung’s pee almost makes Minho laugh, and it distracts him from quickly finishing up what he’s doing. He’s gargling water when Jisung zips himself up and joins him at the sink; their elbows touch when Jisung moves to wash his hands, and it’s such a simple thing, but it’s been so long since they’ve been alone, and in such a small space too, that Minho is immediately on guard.

Their eyes meet through their reflections, and suddenly the tension in the air feels electric.

“Good night,” Minho mumbles as he places his toothbrush back into the holder; the plan is to quickly turn around and exit the bathroom while Jisung is in the middle of soaping his hands, but he stops immediately when he hears the younger softly croak out,

“Hyung.”

And then Jisung is pushing him against the door, not even hesitating before he kisses him.

Minho wishes he could say he has enough control to stop it this time, but he really, truly doesn’t. It takes him a second before he returns the gesture, grabbing Jisung’s shirt and pulling the younger man towards himself.

“Wait—” He actually manages to lean away when Jisung gasps for air. “You’re drunk,” he mutters, resting his head back against the door, and wincing when Jisung simply moves to burrow into the crook of his neck.

“No,” Jisung answers, his voice muffled against Minho’s skin; it’s a bit ticklish, and he almost laughs, but he manages to bite down his bottom lip. “I’m not—” He leans away, and looks up so he can directly meet Minho’s gaze. “Hyung, I’m really, truly not.”

Minho narrows his eyes at Jisung, as if trying to confirm the truth in his words; and then Jisung moves in once more, kissing him again, this time seeking further entrance into his mouth, and once again, Minho readily gives in.

This time he pays more mind to how Jisung’s taste; there’s not a hint of alcohol on his tongue, and Minho feels relieved. The last thing he wants is to fool around with Jisung while he’s even the least bit inebriated.

“You taste like chocolate,” he gasps in observation, as Jisung’s teeth digs into his bottom lip. “And a little like popcorn.”

“Yeah,” Jisung grunts, nodding as his hands make their way down Minho’s torso, settling right at the curve of his waist. “We went to see a late night movie—”

Minho almost laughs at that because _fucking hell,_ that’s what they meant by ‘adult’ things.

“What’s so funny—?” Jisung practically whines into his mouth, and all Minho can think about is how _sinful_ that sounds is.

“Nothing,” he mutters in response; his fingers are ghosting along the hem of Jisung’s shirt now and it’s been awhile since he’s touched or tasted the younger male like this, that it almost feels like sensory overload.

“Hyung—” Jisung calls out to him using that same, soft whiny tone and it sends shivers down Minho’s spine. His hands are playing with the drawstrings of Minho’s sleeping pants, and Minho has no idea when they got there. His dick is semi-hard, and _this is a really bad idea;_ considering all the times they’ve fooled around before, it’s a wonder that this is the first time Jisung’s hands have ever been close to that area.

“Jisungie—” Minho exhales, his right hand lightly wrapping around Jisung’s wrist when the latter’s knuckles accidentally brush against growing hard-on.

“Hyung,” Jisung repeats, looking up at him with his big, round, button eyes. “Can I, please?”

Not for the first time, Minho thinks about how fucked he is, because he doesn’t really know how to refuse Jisung anything. But also, he thinks about how Chan and Woojin are right -  he’s an adult, and he needs to own his decisions. He needs to consider the fact that whatever this is between him and Jisung is, it’s going to affect so many more people than just the two of them. And then Jisung blinks at him, earnest and pleading, and Minho thinks: _Shit, I’m fucking in love with him._

“Okay,” he whispers with a nod, and Jisung doesn’t delay in pulling at the drawstrings and loosening Minho’s pants.

He’s so eager that Minho just leans back and lets Jisung lead, but his hand feels a little awkward when it finally touches Minho's dick, mostly because he obviously isn't sure what he's doing. It amuses him how apparent it is that Jisung has never had this kind of experience with someone of the same sex before.

The way Jisung strokes him is almost slow and torturous, unsure and experimenting. His hand feels soft, and Minho is momentarily thankful that Seungmin once insisted on stocking up on soap with moisturizer.

“Just do what you'd do if it was your own,” Minho finally mutters after it starts to get too much; even as he tells Jisung this, his frustration gets the better of him, and he reaches down, his left hand sliding over Jisung’s to try and guide him.

Jisung is biting down his swollen lower lip, his eyes almost twinkling. Minho grinds his hips, and Jisung’s fingers, even though already threaded with his own, twitch, and it feels good for some reason. With his other hand, he pulls Jisung’s face toward his own, kissing him roughly.

For some reason, Minho is shaking nervously - it’s not even as if this is the first time at the receiving end of a tug job, but somehow the overall combination of Jisung’s breathy concentration and nervous ministrations is making him feel all kinds of foreign emotions.

In the end, Jisung is almost as breathless as Minho is when Minho cums. They try to catch some air, their breathing synchronizing in a rhythmic pattern. Jisung is smiling as he leans against Minho, his head resting against the older’s shoulder; he looks happy - _proud_ even - but, it’s obvious from the erection that Minho is feeling against his thigh, that Jisung is far from satisfied.

“Let me take care of you, too,” he whispers, fingers already dancing along the waistband of Jisung’s jeans.

It’s a reckless suggestion, especially coming from Minho, but he’s decided that it’s useless to try and resist this anymore; he realises that Chan is right - forcibly stopping this isn’t good for anyone, least of all him. He _loves_ Jisung, and he should stop being so scared because no matter what happens, they’ve proven to go together quite well, and that’s not going to change just because he decides to be up front with his emotions.

“Hyung, wait—” Jisung gasps softly; now _his_ hands are trembling as they grab onto Minho’s wrists. “Wait—”

Minho leans down and peers a Jisung closely. “You don’t want me to?” He asks, gently, softly.

“I—I do,” Jisung stammers; he’s _blushing_ and it’s so adorable, especially when you think about how easily he got Minho off just minutes ago. “I do,” he repeats, “but you don’t have to.”

“But I _want_ to,” Minho whispers, already working on the buckle of Jisung’s belt. “Can I?”

“O-okay—” Jisung exhales, nodding;  he’s looking at Minho with so much trust, that Minho’s heart practically bursts at the seams as he feels an overwhelming amount of affection.

He loves this boy, he thinks, he truly does. Both Chan and Woojin told him that he needs to be sure of what he wants, and of the decisions he makes. And it it’s in that moment, Minho decides - if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s Han Jisung.

When Jisung cums, it’s with the back of his hand pressing against his mouth, muffling the sounds of his desperation, and Minho’s pretty lips wrapped around his dick.

  
  
  


 

By the time Lunar New Year rolls around, Minho is more than ready for some quality time back home with his family, hopefully to be spent, as usual, being spoiled with delicious, homecooked meals.

“Have fun at home, hyung,” Jisung tells him before he leaves. “Don’t be a stranger.”

There’s a kind of uneasiness in his tone that Minho has never heard before and he wishes he could do away with it himself. He doesn’t doubt that the uncertainty has something to do with him - it’s been a week since The Bathroom Incident, and they haven’t really found any time to spend just with each other; for once, it’s not even Minho’s fault. It must be his shitty karma, even, because just when he’s finally made up his mind to actually sit down with Jisung so they can discuss actual _feelings,_ it’s like schedules won’t allow them to lose the other members, even if for just five or ten minutes so they can talk.

He’s been bordering desperate that he almost considered asking Jisung if he wanted to spend the holidays with him in Gimpo, but it turns out 3RACHA didn’t have plans to take a break anyway. The company has their group slated for a first quarter comeback, which meant they had a lot of producing deadlines that they needed to meet.

At least he’s easily distracted once he gets home. Dori, the new kitten he’d recently adopted from an online adoption agency, is an adorable bundle of fur and his first few hours at home are spent pampering the family's new baby.

Soonie is sweet and as well-behaved as ever, but Doongie repeatedly keeps walking over to nuzzle and rub itself against Minho's ankles, likely in an attempt to assert some kind of territorial dominance.

Setting Dori down after he dresses her up with an old sock to keep her warm, Minho proceeds to pick Doongie up, who, for once, doesn't resist the affection. “You’re jealous, aren't you?” He coos, laughing when Doongie purrs in response.

He takes a selfie with the normally prickly feline, and then, without thinking, the first thing he does with the picture is send it to Jisung over Kakao.

 **한지성:**   
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
doongie my favorite cat ㅋㅋㅋ

He gets a response almost immediately, and the smile that forms on his lips is just as instant.

 **나:**   
you're not supposed to play favorites

 **한지성:**   
that's just u as the cat dad  
as nothing more than a cat uncle, i’m allowed favorites

The simplicity of the humor in the response actually makes Minho laugh out loud, and it enables him to hit send on his own reply before he gives it too much thought.

 **나:**   
i miss you

The three bubbles informing him that Jisung is typing a reply appears as soon as his message gets marked as read, and they keep blinking for a while, without anything from Jisung actually coming in. It makes Minho wrinkle his nose, because is Jisung actually writing an _essay_ in response to such a simple ‘I miss you?!’

After what seems like forever (but in actuality is maybe around a little over two minutes, just enough for Minho’s screen to go to sleep), his phone vibrates and Jisung's response arrives.

 **한지성:**   
wow

Minho blinks - Jisung took all _that_ time, only to reply with _that?_

Annoyed, he hits the call button next to Jisung’s name; he's barely given enough time to recognize the younger's callback tone before someone on the other end picks up.

“Hyung?” Jisung sounds surprised, but excited. “This isn't a butt dial, is it?”

Minho huffs and ignores the joking greeting. “Wow?!” he barks into his phone's microphone.

“Wow?” Jisung echoes with even more confusion.

“I tell you I miss you, and you take five minutes to type _‘wow?!’”_

“Oh.” And then Jisung actually _laughs_ , which makes Minho realise that he's being pretty ridiculous; he almost hangs up on Jisung out of rightful embarrassment because of that. “Sorry—” he’s apologizing, yet still chortling. “But that pretty much sums up how I felt when I read your message, hyung. You know you never actually tell me you miss me first?”

The revelation surprises Minho, and he quickly peruses his own memory for an instance that would prove Jisung’s pronouncement wrong; he comes up with nothing and now he actually feels kinda bad. “Yeah, well—” His breath hitches; he really doesn’t understand why being open like this is so unnatural for him. “I do. I miss you.”

He wonders if it’s possible to _hear_ someone smile through the phone; logic tells him it isn’t, but it feels like that anyway, because in the few seconds of silence that follow, a very vivid image of Jisung’s bright smile forms in his head.

“I miss you too, hyung,” Jisung tells him back, and he sounds so delighted that it makes Minho’s heart flutter.

He almost wants to respond, right then and there, with ‘I love you,’ because _damn,_ he thinks - if a simple ‘I miss you’ has Jisung reacting like that, Minho can’t help but wonder  what’s going to happen when he finally shares the entirety of what he feels for the younger male.

 _I love you,_ he repeats in his head, holding his tongue, because at the very least he knows that Jisung deserves to hear the words in person.

  
  
  


 

Minho’s original plan had been to stay at home until late afternoon the next day, because opportunities to go home are starting to be fewer and further in between.

Still, spending almost all of the holiday exchanging messages with Jisung has rendered him anxious; he starts feeling like he could explode any moment now, considering all the feelings he’s been hiding - all the accumulated emotions and pent-up frustrations that he suddenly feels more than ready, finally, to share with Jisung.

So he heads back to the dorm, early in the day, and the first thing he does once there, after putting away all the containers of homemade side dishes his mother had sent with him, is head to the room that Jisung now shares with Jeongin.

He only knocks once before he pushes the door open and he sticks his head into the room. “Hey—”

Jisung is sprawled across his bed, a book held open in his hands. He looks up when Minho enters, a small, controlled smile painted across his face. “Hyung, hey!”

Minho marches over and pushes Jisung’s legs aside in order to make room for himself as he climbs onto the bed to sit at the foot of it. “What are you reading?” He asks, leaning forward to try and peer at the cover.

“Uh—” Jisung gathers his legs, and sits up, moving so that he’s next to Minho. “Some essay book that Seungmin recommended.”

Minho reaches for it so he can study the cover himself, nodding as he skims the page that Jisung had open. “So—” he laughs, and puts it away instead of handing it back, “—how long have you been reading that same section?”

A blush creeps across Jisung’s cheeks. “Ten minutes, I guess. Fifteen, maybe.” He lets out a huff anyway, trying to sound affronted even with the confession.

“And how long have you known that I’m back?” Minho asks, leaning against the wall as he watches Jisung with obvious fondness.

“Ten minutes, or so. Fifteen, probably,” Jisung admits. “Ever since I heard someone arrive at the door.”

“How’d you know it wasn’t anyone else?”

Jisung sighs. “I know the sound of your footsteps, hyung, okay?”

“Aaah—” Minho chuckles, lifting his hand so he can poke one of Jisung’s pink cheeks. “Cute.”

“Was kinda hoping you’d come find me,” Jisung mumbles, slapping Minho’s hand away despite the shy, pleased smile that’s now formed on his lips.

“Well, here I am,” Minho points out, finally tearing his gaze away from Jisung and instead looking down at his palms. Several seconds of silence follow, before he adds, “I guess we need to talk, huh?”

“Uh…” From the periphery of his vision, Minho notices Jisung turn his head to stare at him. “Yeah, hyung. Been thinking for a while now that we should, honestly.”

“Oh?” Minho also turns his head to face the other boy once more. “And you never said anything before?”

Jisung shakes his head. “I—” He inhales deeply, leaning forward to press his forehead against Minho’s shoulder; this is how Minho realises just how nervous Jisung actually is. Minho allows his guard down, and gently nudges Jisung as a form of encouragement. “I figured I needed to give you some space at first hyung,” Jisung mumbles; he lifts his head and rests his chin on Minho’s shoulder instead. “I know you’re the type who needs time to process your feelings, so I wanted to give that to you.”

Minho knits his brow, surprised. “This is why you didn’t say anything after we first kissed?”

Jisung nods. “I, uh, I figured I did my part—I showed you that I liked you, but I didn’t want to rush you into anything.”

“Jisung—” Minho winces. “I thought you did that out of general curiosity. Because you wanted to see how it feels to kiss a guy—”

“Hyung, no!” Jisung quickly interrupts, vehemently shaking his head. “I wanted to kiss _you._ Just you. I only mentioned other guys because I was nervous, and I needed to know for sure that I wasn’t just imagining and assuming things about you because it benefitted me.”

“Jisung,” Minho sighs, because Jisung now has a determined look on; he reaches out and gently pats the back of his head, doing his best not to just lean in and plant a kiss on Jisung’s lips. Doing that seemed very tempting, but also very counterproductive at the moment.

“What about the other times, hyung—you think I was still only just curious all the other times I asked for kisses?”

Minho chuckles. “A bit.”

“Hyung—!” Jisung whines. “I didn’t say anything about what I really feel because I was always pretty confident that we were on the same page—I just really wanted to hear it from you first. But then recently…”

“Recently?”

“Well, you kinda started avoiding me—?” Jisung frowns, and moves away. “Like not really _avoiding_ me, but it’s like suddenly, you were allergic to spending time with me?” He sighs again. “And I started wondering what if I’d had it wrong all along—or what if you changed your mind about me because I was getting to be a little too much?” He lets out forced laughter. “Hyung… this is embarrassing to admit, and you’re not really saying anything!”

Minho laughs; Jisung is slowly getting worked up, so he does what he can to calm him down - he leans forward and plants a quick, chaste peck on the younger’s lips.

“Sorry,” he whispers; he smiles, and leaves another quick kiss on the tip of Jisung’s nose before pulling away, leaving Jisung looking like a deep red tomato. “I’m sorry you felt that way. You weren't too much, you were perfect, Jisungie, I was just stupid. I wish I could say that it’s because I could never fully figure out your feelings, but—” He takes a deep breath because for once, he wants to be honest not just to Jisung, but to himself. “I think I always knew how you felt about me—that we were on the same page, like you said. I think I just had a hard time accepting it, because then, what next? Falling in love with someone you work with is not easy, you know? It’s a big fucking risk for both of us.”

“Falling… in love,” Jisung echoes softly.

Minho snorts, and this time he’s the one who leans forward to hide his face against the crook of Jisung’s neck. “Geez, I say all that, and that’s all you heard, huh?”

Jisung snickers, and nudges Minho. “Hyung—say it properly, please? I told you… I’ve been waiting.”

Minho pulls away with a sigh. “Fine,” he says, looking directly at Jisung as he places his hands on either side of the younger’s neck.

When Minho was six, he told his mother to stop leaving the lights on for him, even though sleeping in the dark absolutely terrified him. When he was eleven, just the sight of his neighbor’s pitbull was enough to make him cry in fear, but he’d marched up to it anyway, one day, when Old Man Kim had taken the dog out for a walk, and he’d boldly asked if he could pet her. And when he was twenty-one, he’d closed his eyes, swallowed his spit and bungee jumped off a high tower despite his almost crippling fear of heights.

The thing about Minho is that he’s always been afraid of so many things, but that doesn’t mean he never does his best to conquer them.

“I love you, Jisungie,” he says boldly, ignoring all the noisy sirens in his head and punching through his own fears. If there’s a decision that he’s going to be willing to stand behind as a fully grown adult, it’s definitely going to be Han Jisung.

Jisung grins at the words, bright, cheeky - almost smug, even. “I love you too, hyung,” he returns. “So can you just please kiss me already?”

Minho doesn’t really need to be asked twice.

  
  
  


 

“Remember when you asked me if I believe in soulmates?”

Minho brings it up one day, when they go out to buy coffee for the entire group. Somehow, now that they’re ‘official,’ the members think it's a good idea to give them alone time by always sending them on food runs for everyone.

Jisung always grumbles when this happens, but somehow, Minho thinks he minds it as much as Minho does - which is to say, not at all.

“Oh!” Jisung laughs, and nods. “That’s a while back, but I do.”

“I think I have an answer for you now,” Minho says while tapping his fingers against the side of the electronic disk that’s supposed to light up once their order is ready; he figures it’ll take a while, though, considering they ordered for a dozen people.

“Yeah?” Jisung grins and turns his full attention to his boyfriend. “So, do you believe?”

“Well—I don’t think soulmates are something inevitable that the universe pushes on you,” Minho begins, “I think it's largely a concept that's based on the feeling you get with certain people—like you said, its kinda like when you meet someone, and you just feel whole and fulfilled with that person.” He pauses to check if Jisung is listening, and he almost laughs because Jisung is more than listening - he’s full-on concentrating, taking in each word that Minho is saying; he even gestures impatiently for Minho to continue, so he does, “That isn’t about fate, or destiny—its chemistry. At the end of the day, I think you should feel like you’re soulmates with whoever _you_ pick to be with.”

“You realise, hyung, it was just a yes or no question, right?” Jisung clicks his tongue and shakes his head, but he’s smiling like he understands exactly what Minho means.

“Don’t be a dumbass, Jisungie,” Minho berates him, laughing. “You’re never going to hear this again, so listen carefully, okay? Obviously the answer is yes—I think they exist, and I’ve chosen you, stupidass Han Jisung, to be mine. You’re my personally handpicked soulmate, and I want to be with you, because when we’re together, everything just makes perfect sense.”

Jisung laughs, loud, free, _happy and comfortable,_ and something continues to bloom in Minho’s chest.

  
  
  


 

_fin._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ 10 ] Thank you so so so much to A for helping me find a way to articulate and illustrate Minho’s thoughts on soulmates because that was probably one of the hardest parts to write.
> 
> [ 11 ] And to everyone else who made it to the end, as usual, thank you for reading up to here. I hope you enjoyed this fic! 
> 
> [ 12 ] Also as usual, any kind of comment and feedback is greatly appreciated. And for any questions (or you know, feel free to scream to about Minsung or SKZ in general), here's my [CC](http://curiouscat.me/yiminho) ♥


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